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"I think the United States and its people ought give thanks to capitalism, our way of life. The opportunities are as abundant as ever, if not more so."
"For those of you driving right now, I am sure that many of you have little crumb crunchers in the car who may want to watch their videos in the backseats. You will be totally in line if you tell them to shut up while you listen to this program."
"It's always been the resiliency, the entrepreneurism, and the devotion and dedication of the American people that propels this country. The people of this country-- you -- are what make it work, not government."
"This is the Thanksgiving weekend, and there is a lot to be thankful for. Mark Steyn wrote a great piece this week -- I'll just paraphrase it: 'The rest of the world ought to be giving thanks to the United States of America.'"
"If you want more money, and what you're doing now doesn't provide you with what you want, then change to a field or an activity that will. This is the US -- you can do that!"
"I can't imagine anybody wanting to kiss Yasser Arafat, and I can't imagine wanting to be kissed by Yasser Arafat."
"I don't yell at the kids! Why does everybody think I yell at kids? Kids see me and automatically behave -- I just have that effect. They have such profound respect that they behave, and, no, it's not fear."
"When somebody starts out telling me that they are a 'registered Republican,' I have my doubts. Registered Republicans do not have to announce it. It's like when somebody tells you they're 'not a whore' -- they're a whore."
"I understand that the country is in a dark mood about the gas prices and I'm going to try to address this. In fact, I was in the process of trying to address this when the official program observer stopped observing and started shouting at me over the IFB!"
"I bought some expandable waistline shorts for this week; I have just thrown all discipline in the diet out the window. Well, you can do it for a week."