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"Bobby Jindal, the governor of Louisiana, could be the next Ronald Reagan."
"Get this: 'Regulators said today they were reviewing the safety of Botox.' You know, makes me wonder if Nancy Pelosi is going to hold hearings on this in the House."
"My success is not dependent on who wins elections. I don't want Hillary to win so I'll 'have an exciting show' for four or eight years. It would be pure agony to deal with that bunch in the White House again."
"You want to live in the World of Hope? Fine. You live in the World of Hope, I'll live in the World of Reality, and I'll meet you at Reality when you run out of Hope."
"For once, I wish the government would be decent and send the stimulus checks out under my name and Snerdley's name: 'This check courtesy of Rush Limbaugh and Bo Snerdley, not your federal government.' Just once!"
"I had to cancel my appearance at the AT&T Pebble BeachPro-Am. I canceled it out of a sense of duty to the nation and to you: my trusted, loyal, devoted, and, in some cases, angry audience."
"We cannot simply sit here and let whatever disappointment we have over the presidential primary result take us out of the House and Senate races. This is going to be rebuilding something bottom up."
"Many of Reagan's years saw a Democrat majority in the Senate, and look what he got done. And how did he do it? With the power of ideas and principles and the ability to communicate with the American people over the heads of the Drive-By Media."
"It's been so long since we have heard from Klaus Nomi and You Don't Know Me, which is our official gay community update theme song, and I would like to hear the Klaus Nomi official gay community update theme song."
"I specifically predicted, on October 18th, 2006, that not voting in 2006 would lead to the nomination of John McCain. It has happened. Don't doubt me."