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"You don't know how grateful I am to be hosting a program that has people like you in the audience."
"The messianic characteristics of Barack Obama have been obliterated. He has been revealed to be nothing more than your average politician who hasn't yet acquired the experience sufficient to let him get away with all the lies that he tells."
"Mrs. Clinton is the embodiment of every woman everywhere, particularly on the Democrat side. She has been used, she has been abused, and she has been humiliated and kept down by sexist pigs like you, Dr. Dean!"
"This is a party that does not see human beings. The Democrats just see: 'Ooh, you're black. Ooh, you're female. Ooh, you're disabled. Ooh, you're gay -- at least I think soby looking at you.'"
"I didn't give The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society phone number out for the first 20 minutes of the program, and we are still running ahead of last year. I love you people. I really do."
"Democrat Party,when you have only one woman in your whole ranks who wants the White House and she can't even wear a dress, it's a problem."
"I want to thank the US Army Band and Chorus for changing my life, along with the pope and the president and Kathleen Battle on Wednesday. If you're a parent of one of the members of the band or chorus, you have to be really, really proud."
"Obama can't take a punch; he's weak, and he whines. I'm sure some women find that attractive, but it embarrasses me as a man."
"As with any war, there are battles, there are victories, and there are losses, but this is a successful war against leukemia and lymphoma we have found ourselves fighting. It's the commitment and sacrifice and fortitude of you, the American people, to see things through that has resulted in victory."
"Bill Clinton is sounding more and more like my impersonation of him every day. When that bite started, I thought, 'Is that me?'"