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RUSH: Big, big, big primary tomorrow, West Virginia, Obama is not even competing there, knows it’s going to be a landslide. Obama is going to be in my hometown tomorrow of Cape Girardeau, Missouri, appearing before a town meeting of a hundred people while getting shellacked in West Virginia. Have you read some of the comments from West Virginia voters? ‘I think he’s a Muslim, isn’t he? I’ve heard he’s a Muslim and I’ve heard his wife is an atheist.’ Mrs. Clinton standing on a porch looking like she’s wearing a muumuu. It’s actually a raincoat. It’s not a flattering picture. Drudge had it up, but it’s not there anymore — oh, yep, still is, still is, right-hand column. Greetings, folks, nice to have you, Rush Limbaugh, the EIB Network and the Limbaugh Institute for Advanced Conservative Studies. Telephone number, 800-282-2882.

Ted Kennedy says that Mrs. Clinton is not fit to be vice president. Now, imagine if you are Hillary Clinton and The Swimmer tells you that you are not fit to be vice president. I mean, that has to be really depressing. When Ted Kennedy says you’re not fit, that must mean that you are lower than Chappaquiddick pond scum, folks. It’s just all ganging up on Mrs. Clinton now. Did you watch the Sunday shows yesterday? Did you, Mr. Snerdley? When’s the last time you watched all the Sunday shows? You must have been really bored. Yeah. They were just all over the Clintons on this race business, were they not yesterday? It’s obvious that the racial civil war is taking place in the Democrat Party. No, and The Punk could not handle it. Terry McAuliffe got so discombobulated he tried to tell Tim Russert that his dad was dead, and Russ said, ‘No, no, no, Big Russ is in the Barcalounger watching the show right now,’ and later in the program The Punk did it again, referred to Russert’s dad as having passed away.

Anyway, it is true, ladies and gentlemen, Democratic presidential front-runner Barack Obama will visit — this is from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch yesterday, and it’s obviously also in the Southeast Missourian, the local newspaper in Cape Girardeau. ‘Obama will visit Cape Girardeau on Tuesday, his first trip into rural Missouri’s Republican territory and welcome news to his most prominent Missouri supporter, Sen. Claire McCaskill. Obama will hold a town-hall meeting,’ in my hometown, a hundred people are all they’re going to put in there. ”It will be about the losses that working people have suffered,’ said McCaskill, who plans to join the Illinois senator. McCaskill credits her own rural treks with providing the slight margin that won her Senate seat in 2006. In Obama’s case, such a stop might help ease some of the concerns of rural Democrats–‘ For those of you in Rio Linda, rural means ‘hick.’ Hick. They’re calling people in my hometown hicks is what this is. This whole story uses the word ‘rural’ throughout, and they’re calling Republicans and Democrats in my hometown hicks. Arrogant Drive-Bys.

”You’ve got to show up and show you care,’ said former Lt. Gov. Joe Maxwell of Mexico, Mo., who was elected Saturday as a Missouri member of the National Democratic Committee. ‘That’s the kind of stuff that can make a difference.’ … At Saturday’s convention, the Obama and Clinton camps selected the last of their delegates. Each has 36 pledged Missouri delegates. Of the state’s 16 superdelegates, 10 are split between the two rivals, while six remain uncommitted.’ By the way, Obama has now pulled ahead in the pledged superdelegate race. ‘US Rep. Ike Skelton, D-Lexington, a Clinton supporter, sought to ease concerns from the Obama camp about his decision Friday to go public with his concerns about Obama’s electability.’ A lot of people are starting to do this now. Well, not a lot, but there’s some starting to be concerned here about Obama’s electability. ‘Another Clinton supporter, retired US Rep. Richard Gephardt, D-St. Louis County, won the strongest ovation of the convention as he told Democrats to remember who is their real target. ‘George Bush is, by far, the worst person who’s ever been president of the United States,’ said Gephardt, who made two unsuccessful bids for the White House himself. ‘Gasoline is $4 a gallon, on its way to $8 a gallon, and this man sits there, clueless!”

Hey, Little Dick? All well and good, but these gas prices didn’t start going through the roof ’til your buddies took over the House in 2006 and, remember, this is supposedly why we elected Democrats to the House of Representatives two years ago. They were going to fix this. They had a plan to bring gas prices down, and we haven’t seen the plan, Little Dick. Sit there and blame it on Bush. I mean, through six years of the Bush administration, oil was low, gas was low for the most part. Only when the Democrats got in there did the world markets panic and start going through the roof. Here’s the last paragraph of the story: ‘In an interview, McCaskill simply smiled when she was asked if Obama’s choice of Cape Girardeau for Tuesday’s stop had some particular significance.’ She just smiled. ‘It’s the hometown of the nation’s most prominent conservative commentator,’ let me correct this for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. It’s the hometown of the nation’s most prominent commentator, conservative, liberal, moderate, independent, or what have you. Well, name for me a prominent liberal commentator who’s even in my ballpark? This is not ego, folks, I’m simply asking for fact here. ‘It’s the hometown of the nation’s most prominent commentator, Rush Limbaugh, who has been encouraging Republicans to cross over in some state Democratic primaries and vote for Clinton.’

This is funny. This cannot be a coincidence. This is a Republican district. The representative from this district is a Republican. While West Virginia is going to be voting in landslide numbers for Mrs. Clinton, he’s going into southeast Missouri, obviously to try to appeal to white southern hicks, because it is said that’s who he’s lacking the ability to appeal to. But do you think it’s a coincidence, Snerdley, that of all the places in Missouri or in the Midwest that the Obama camp could have chosen, he chose Cape Girardeau right in the midst of Operation Chaos? It cannot be a coincidence. I’ll tell you what I think he ought to do. He’s going to have a hundred people in there at his town meeting. Now, Clinton went to Cape Girardeau, you remember this, in his second term, I think, or maybe the reelection campaign for the second term. Clinton went in there, we have a little park in Cape Girardeau called Capaha Park, a bunch of baseball diamonds, a lagoon, public swimming pool, some cotton candy concession stands and so forth. And Clinton went in there, and I think drew 20,000 people. That was not a coincidence, either. But Obama is going to go in there with a closed town hall meeting of a hundred people. I don’t even know if the media is going to bother going because so many of them will be covering the West Virginia primary returns tomorrow.

He’s gotta have some sort of body watch press contingent that will be there. One thing he may not know — and Senator McCaskill may not know this — that the Cape Girardeau Chamber of Commerce, it’s a town of about 25,000 people. This is one of the reasons we’re somewhat incredulous here, and nothing against Cape Girardeau, I mean I’m sure everybody they’re proud as punch and honored as they can be that Obama is going to flit into town for a while. But there’s St. Louis. Of course that’s not rural. But you don’t have to go far from St. Louis to be rural. They could have gone to Poplar Bluff, they could have gone to Charleston, they could have gone to Sikeston, they could have gone down to Kennett, any number of places. Maybe they chose Cape Girardeau because there’s a bridge there where people from Illinois can also show up, who knows, and that’s his home state. But nevertheless the Chamber of Commerce there, they even have a convention and visitors bureau in Cape Girardeau, a town of 25,000, and there is, if you go there, you can take the actual Rush Limbaugh Tour. They used to advertise this on billboards out on I-55 north and south from Memphis to St. Louis.

The Rush Limbaugh tour, the little house that I grew up in, the high school that I attended and participated in a number of pranks at, the bridge abutment over I-55 where friends of mine hung a mannequin one night, a night before school one year, high school. The place I kicked the extra point that won the game — they do this! They have this tour and I think Obama ought to take it. Maybe it’s an olive branch, who knows. It’s a driving tour, by the way, you don’t have to get out of your car. It’s not a walking tour. It’s not a pain in the rear at all. They just put you on a little bus and drive you around, a little tape recorder on the bus that explains all the various highlights. The bowling alley where my parents used to take us on Friday night and I’d stock up on quarters, invite friends to go, give them the quarters to play pinball. (interruption) No, I haven’t taken the tour. I am the tour! I haven’t taken the tour. Why would I take the tour? My mother took the tour. She corrected anything they might have had wrong. You know, the practice field where I was on the high school football team for one year, they go by that. I forgot all the things, a lot of places. They take you to the first radio station. They drive by the first radio station and point — (interruption) the tour? Oh, five minutes. (laughing) No, it takes about 15 or 20 because the radio station is outside of town. Takes awhile to drive out there and get back, plus it’s up on a hill, you can’t actually drive. You have to look at it from the highway. (interruption) No, the Limbaugh Museum will not be there. I haven’t decided on where the Limbaugh Broadcast Museum is going to be, HR, but, hell, who knows, it could be there.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: I must correct myself, ladies and gentlemen. I erred mere moments ago when I said that the population of my hometown, Cape Girardeau, is 25,000 people. That’s what it was when I was growing up. It’s now 35,000 people, my brother informed me, and I’ve also learned that the Rush Limbaugh tour is 12 stops. There are riverboats that travel down and up the Mississippi — Cape Girardeau is right on the Mississippi River — and the riverboats stop in Cape Girardeau, and many people on the riverboats take the tour. It is a very, very popular thing for people to do. You got a big seawall down there to protect against floods. They got pictures of famous Missourians on the seawall, including me. So there’s a lot of stuff for Obama to do there tomorrow after he does his town-hall meeting with 100 people.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: I don’t know if Obama is going to be flying into Cape Girardeau or driving in from somewhere else, but if he flies into Cape Girardeau, there’s only one road out of the airport. The name of that road is Rush H. Limbaugh, Jr., Drive, named after my father who was instrumental in getting the big runway built there via bond issue back in the 1960s. And the second tallest building in town is the Limbaugh Law Firm office building. You will not be able to miss that. It’s in the main intersection in town if he drives in.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: Rich in Moscow Mills, Missouri, you’re next on the EIB Network, sir. Hello.

CALLER: Hey, Rush. Good to talk to you again.

RUSH: Thank you very much.

CALLER: I know you know that there’s a Moscow Mills, Missouri.

RUSH: Yeah.

CALLER: And the reason I’m calling is Obama should have picked our town if he was looking for symbolism.

RUSH: Tell people where Moscow Mills is.

CALLER: Well, it’s about four miles south of Troy, Missouri.

RUSH: And where’s Troy? What’s it near?

CALLER: Oh, gosh, let’s see. I would say we’re about 14 or 15 miles north of Wentzville, which is on 70.

RUSH: All right, see, he can’t go there. You’re in the northern part of state. Listen to your accent. ‘Narth’

CALLER: Is that right? Well, I just came back from California.

RUSH: It hasn’t affected you. You have to be there longer.

CALLER: Is that right?

RUSH: Yeah. People say, like I-44, in St. Louis, if you go people say I-Farty-Far. So he can’t go north of St. Louis. There’s no hicks up there. There, they don’t sound like hicks; they don’t look like hicks.

CALLER: Well, see, he could import them, and the rest of the country doesn’t know that, even though I shop on Ronald Reagan Drive.

RUSH: Well, that’s another reason he’s not going to go there. But I know what you’re getting at, Moscow Mills, I mean, what better place for a socialist liberal Democrat.

CALLER: Well, the primaries is to solidify his base.

RUSH: Ever so true. But you raise a good point. There are all kinds of places in Missouri to go.

CALLER: Cuba.

RUSH: Cuba, Missouri, that’s right. There is a Cuba, Missouri. Yes! There’s a ‘Haiti.’

CALLER: Yeah.

RUSH: There is a Hayti. It’s pronounced Hay-tie.

CALLER: Exactly.

RUSH: They pronounce it Hay-tie, it’s just north of Kennett. You could go to ‘Haiti.’

CALLER: Yes. Why did he pick on your town unless the first word is ‘Cape’?

RUSH: Don’t force me into answering this.

CALLER: That was my only guess, that and the fact you said the bridge across to Illinois.

RUSH: Yeah, the bridge crosses over to Illinois.

CALLER: Yeah.

RUSH: But that’s flimsy. That’s a flimsy excuse. Anyway, Rich, I appreciate it.

CALLER: Okay, sir.

RUSH: Moscow Mills, Missouri, yeah, north of — narth of Wentzville.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: Also, a couple other towns in Missouri that Obama could visit, one is called Roach, Missouri, and another town called Peculiar, Missouri, along with Cuba, Missouri.

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