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"I'm actually as proud of the people who hate me as I am of my friends, because they hate me for a good reason -- I'm a problem."
"'UN peacekeepers andinternational aid workers from 23 organization have engaged in sexual exploitation of children, including some as young as six.' Meanwhile, these clowns send somebody to this country to inspect racism? Screw these people! This is the left's Abu Ghraib!"
"I just know Scott McClellan from his work, which I never thought was anything spectacular. I thought the guy was a little wussy in front of the press; my memory is that he was a little doughboy standing up there on the pedestal."
"What's happened to our patriotism? Liberalism. Why do we have to have hatred for the country as well as hatred for the president? Liberalism. Liberalism is the greatest threat the country faces."
"The liberals won't even say the era of Jimmy Carter is over. In fact, they're not even embarrassed about that because they're going to nominate a guy who's going to give us Carter's second term!"
"Say, folks, do you think Obama knows that Allen Brothers steaks is in Chicago? Is that right, Snerdley? His uncle used to work there? Oh, cool! We'll put that in the next commercial."
"If Mike McCurry or some other spokesman in the Clinton administration had done something like what McClellan has done... Let your mind wander, folks, and think what would happen to that guy."
"What? Are you guys still laughing about the last caller? Folks, as I say, it's very fortunate that I am the only member of my staff who has a microphone. Because H.R. was saying things like, 'Hey, think she's single?'"
"Have you noticed how many Republican and Democrat strategists these cable TV people come up with? I think they just grab good-looking people off the street and say, 'Do you know what the difference between a Republican and Democrat is? Okay, you're a strategist on this next segment.'"
"Thank you, Mr. Snerdley; it was a very good show today -- even though some of the callers think I'm ready for the little men in the white coats to come take me away."