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Languages Kids Should Learn First

BEGIN TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: About Obama and his suggestion that you start teaching your children Spanish, fine and dandy, but I have some other languages I think they should learn first. And your kids should have learned it from you if they're not learning it in school. The odds are pretty good they're not learning it there: the language of economists, to be able to translate phrases like, "supply and demand," and understand their meaning. The language of scientists and climatologists, to be able to listen in on their conversations when they talk about water vapor being by far the number-one greenhouse gas and that carbon dioxide is necessary for plant life and makes up less than .04% of the atmosphere. They need to learn the language of mathematicians, so we can understand 'em when they tell us that Social Security is a shell game and it's going broke. Your kids need to learn the language of terrorists so we don't get fooled again into thinking America is responsible for their endless thirst for mass murder and that we take them seriously when they make their promises. We need to teach them the language of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, which is a subset of terrorism. When Ahmadinejad says he's going to nuke Israel, he means it. He means he wants to. We need to teach them the language of The Messiah so that when we hear The Messiah talk about change, we know that sometimes he's speaking the language of liberals, socialists, and Marxists, and we need to then teach them the language of liberals, socialists, and Marxists. There are a number of languages our kids should learn first, and then we can move on to Espanol, and then, after Espanol, we can move on to François, and then after that, we'll all try to learn to speak Female.

END TRANSCRIPT

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