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"I sense the real Obama coming out here, and it's a very sensitive, angry, uptight little guy."
"The medical malpractice insurance is courtesy of the tort bar, led by estimable people such as John Edwards... when he's not hiding out in the basements of hotel bathrooms avoiding reporters from the National Enquirer."
"One of my favorite stories of the day comes from the UK; basically, a rich Arab sheik sent his Lamborghini on a 6,500-mile round trip to Britain for an oil change. This is my kind of guy!"
"I know there are people starving in the Middle East, sure. Sure there are. But don't give me this -- you're just trying to play devil's advocate liberal with me, Snerdley!"
"Obama has carried himself around as an arrogant, elite, out-of-touch politician who looks down his nose at voters -- of course he has to throw down the race card! He's having a very bad few weeks here, folks!"
"Senator McCain said, 'I respect Speaker Pelosi. I think she's one of the great American success stories.' Senator McCain, Nancy Pelosi will want to castrate you if you become president."
"Clarence Thomas is one of these people I wish everybody could know the way he is, rather than the way he's constantly portrayed. He's one of the happiest, the most jovial, most intellectually engaged people I know."
"We have a Democrat presidential candidate who is a child. He may be The Messiah, but he's a child. He's a baby! He only repeats what he has been taught!"
"Now, you might be asking: Where is Rita X today? I would suspect that Rita X is actively involved in the Obama campaign today -- perhaps community organizer, perhaps a voter registration drive precinct captain. Something like that."
"Before it's over, Obama and the Democrats are going to be telling us when to poop when not to poop based on environmental damage."