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"Barack Obama is a linear result of a life spent learning from people who have a presumption of guilt associated with this country."
"How about somebody like Rick Santorum as veep? How about some conservative who could be counted on across the board to help lead the country in the right direction and rebuild the Republican Party? Lieberman can't do that."
"Here you have this former street activist and parrot running for president of the United States, wagging his finger at John McCain on his 'improper tone'. Barry, grow up. It's a presidential campaign."
"We want Biden on the ticket. I mean, the combined arrogance on that ticket? Bring it on! Ho, ho!"
"Here's a guy who fights and succeeds to keep Wal-Mart out of his town, and then gets the politically correct recycling plant -- and it recycles metal! Ha, ha! This is so funny! I about peed my pants when I read this!"
"If the Democrat Party's presidential nominee has to say that he loves his country, then -- he-he-he-he-he-he-he -- there might be some question."
"There was a survey of Washington, DC, bartenders, and it breaks down Democrats and Republicans when it comes to their adult beverage selection and bar behavior. I want to warn you Republicans: it's not good for us. We don't do well at drinking, it appears."
"You know, I will challenge your patriotism. When you actively seek the defeat of the US military in Iraq, what the hell are you doing?"
"I'd go stand at a bus stop as a kid, and if the bus didn't show up I'd have to walk all the way to school. And people who were being driven to school by their parents would roll down their windows and laugh at me and humiliate me because I had to take the Hoof Express."
"It's called 'table tennis', Andy. You demean that sport by calling it 'ping-pong'."