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"In her speech to the convention, Hillary Clinton will tell these delegates in her own inimitable fashion, just how royally they've screwed up."
"I remember the old days of the Democrat Party... they may have been big liberals, but at least you respected them for their political acumen. But today? Harry Reid? Nancy Pelosi? Howard Dean? And we think this is a juggernaut?"
"I mean, if the dress looks like a tent then you got a problem, but all things being equal, the pantsuit is a compromise. I know this from my life experience."
"Did you know that the Democrats even had to put the Pledge of Allegiance on television screens inside the convention so that the delegates could read the words? 'I pledge allegiance to the -- oh, yeah, flag.'"
"All these reports about media people getting tingles up their legs when they listen to Obama speak... what the hell kind of professionalism is that?"
"I thought Michelle was an example of a professional, independent, intelligent woman who deserved to be measured in her own right, but now she's just a mom and a wife? Do you realize what she did for feminism last night? She erased it."
"Before we return to our analysis of the Democrat convention, folks, just admit something: It is more fun to listen to me talk about what happened last night than it was to actually watch it."
"The campaign's line is that Barack Obama was only eight years old when Ayers tried to blow up the Pentagon. Maybe so, but he was 34 when he attended his first Ayers fundraiser."
"Let me explain Nancy Pelosi to you: she is in a fantasy dream world. She is convinced that this whole country is just thrilled and in awe of her because she's the first woman to become speaker. She doesn't see that she barely sells 4,000 books."
"It is a big deal for Democrats to get a baby home alive."