MACCALLUM: Joining me now on the phone is Rush Limbaugh. Hi, Rush.RUSH: Martha, how are you?MACCALLUM: I'm --RUSH: Great day today.MACCALLUM: I'm --RUSH: We finally got some laughs out of Washington today.MACCALLUM: (laughing) All right. Well, let's start with Joe Biden. You've never been a big fan of Joe Biden, as is pretty well known by all of your millions of listeners. What do you think the Obama campaign is thinking about that choice now?RUSH: In the first place, I love Biden, Martha. I begged...

RUSH: Obama is making a few of his own. Yesterday, he claimed to be a "fiscal conservative." The way he says he's a fiscal conservative is that he's gonna eliminate 10% of government contractor payments, which is about $40 billion. But why is he out there trying to say he's a fiscal conservative? I thought "hope" and "change" and all this unbridled liberalism was what people wanted. I thought people wanted bigger government! In fact Obama is all upset. Where is the sound bite? (shuffling...

RUSH: You've gotta hear this. Yesterday in Scranton, Pennsylvania. Senator McCain held a town hall meeting. An audience member has this exchange with Senator McCain.WOMAN: I wanted to take the opportunity to ask the media, "Where's your 30 investigators over in Chicago looking at Ayers?" (cheers) We want the media to start doing their job and stop picking on little children because of their age and their pregnancies. Shame on you! Shame on all of yous.MCCAIN: That is a great question. (chuckles)...

RUSH: Mike in Maysville, Kentucky. Mike, welcome, I'm glad you waited. You're next on the EIB Network, sir. Hello.CALLER: Hi, Rush. How are you?RUSH: Very well, sir. Thank you.CALLER: Wonderful. First of all, real quick point, I'd like to apologize to you, sir. I have been a lifelong Democrat all my life, and this election was very important to me -- and under the old axiom, keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer, I decided to listen to you and a couple other hosts. You...

RUSH: Obama is the next target for a bailout, I am convinced. Now, let me set this up. I'm sure that quite a few of you who are spending any time at all on the computer have received what I have received a gazillion times. By the way, as a little heads up, those of you out there who receive things in e-mail, these flash blast e-mails that go out: If you think I haven't seen it yet, change your mind. By the time you see it, I have seen it so many times, I have practically thrown the computer up...

RUSH: Mrs. Clinton this morning on the Today Show today, Matt Lauer. "So who would qualify to have their mortgage purchased?"HILLARY: If you look at what the, uh, model is back from the Great Depression, the Treasury ended up making a profit for the country. That's why I've been proposing this model for months now, because I think we're going to have do it. Uh, there is no doubt in my mind that we have to stabilize the markets. There's a consensus about that in Washington.RUSH: This is a woman...

RUSH: I want to give you an interpretation of this. Chuck Schumer (imitating Schumer) "Oh, the lowly mortgage, who would have ever thought that the lowly mortgage has brought us to the brink of financial ruin?" Now, obviously the lowly mortgage didn't do this. People did. But what does it sound like? Keep in mind who Chuck Schumer is, liberal Democrat. You know how you could also interpret that? This is the problem with people owning things. This is the problem with people having property....

RUSH: Well, I needed something to make me laugh, ladies and gentlemen, after yesterday, after the weekend, and I found it today. The Senate Hindsight Hearings on what is being called a bailout. I actually don't think it's proper to call it a bailout, but it's a fine point. But nevertheless, what a comedy! If the subject matter weren't so serious and dire, this would be a comedy. This is a bunch of Senator Blowhards and Foghorns all giving their opening statements. We're looking at a Bunch...

Rush's Morning Update: Service!September 24, 2008Watch It! Download Morning Update Video in QuickTimeListen to It! Windows Media Player|RealPlayer An ardent disciple of The Messiah, Lord Barack Obama The Most Merciful, wanted to serve his master --but the excrement hit the fan, so to speak.Kent Higgins, a chaplain at the University of Massachusetts Amherst campus, sent students this e-mail message: "If you're scared about the prospects for this election, you're not alone. The most important...

You're Missing Out on Thousands of Rush Quotes! Join Rush 24/7 NOW!"If Sarah Palin said half the things that Biden is saying, what do you think the media would be doing to her?""If the American people understood how complicit the Democrats are in this financial crisis, there would be accountability, let me tell you. And there's still time for accountability: it's called Election Day on November 4th.""Hillary said, 'Congress should not give the treasury a blank check to straighten out the problem.'...

Story #1: Sparse Crowd Turns Out for Messiah in Green Bay RUSH: This is the Chicago Sun-Times, the headline of the story: "Uncharacteristically Low Turnout for Obama Rally in Green Bay. McCain-Palin drew 4,000 more supporters at the same venue a week ago. ... The numbers in Wisconsin and Minnesota are getting close enough that the Obama campaign closed its 11 campaign offices in North Dakota and moved the 50 staffers there to these two states." His 50-state strategery is out the window and he's...