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"If the left can't shut us up, the best thing they can do is intimidate us into shutting ourselves up, and I, frankly, am not interested."
"I just heard Obama say that we must ramp up responsibility. I'm sorry, folks: I have to laugh. Those who have been responsible are about to have their pockets picked in order to pay for those who have been irresponsible."
"There's Port-A-Potties everywhere: in front of the Washington Monument, along the parade route, in front of the Capitol, behind the Capitol... Hell, they may as well put a couple on the Capitol, for what's about to be going on in there."
"Obama is a profoundly arrogant man, folks. He's actually done nothing but run for office. How can he compare himself to Lincoln? He can only do so symbolically, and what is that worth? Isn't anybody offended by this?"
"You can just see the headlines tomorrow: 'Rush Limbaugh -- Lone Holdout Trying to Destroy the Celebration of a Joyous Nation as Obama Happily Paints a Wall Where Homeless Children Live'."
"If the phone is ringing and Snerdley is not answering, there's a reason why. And if he doesn't start answering it soon, I'm going to tell you why. Well, I will: It involves a woman."
"We're the only ones that have not joined the cult, the ones not heading to the Hale-Bopp comet. Because I guarantee you, if Obama tells us he's going there, the media will probably try to find the next ship on the way out."
"Depending on how much McCain can screw the Republican Party, he'll get his legacy back from the Drive-By Media."
"I think we need to pay special attention to Obama's constant attempt to persuade us that he's somebody else, that he's not who he is. It's one thing for a candidate, or a president, to draw on past great presidents to advance a point, but it's just creepy to pretend to be them."
"I doubt Sally Quinn's had an orgasm in the last eight years, but she's probably had ten of them since she read that Obama is going to start throwing parties."