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"I, El Rushbo -- and I say this happily -- have hijacked Obama's honeymoon."
"What we just heard at the White House today was smoke and mirrors, and, of course, the Drive-By Media fell for it hook, line, and sinker. I didn't, which is why I remain enemy number one. Pioneers take the arrows, folks."
"I just said to Snerdley, 'Don't you get it yet? The media doesn't care what's in this bill. It's His, with a capital 'H.' It's Obama's. And so all that matters is that it passes.'"
"This stimulus bill has $335 million to prevent sexually transmitted diseases. Let's get out the Barry White music and the Love Unlimited Orchestra."
"My friends, I do have an apology to make to you. Were it not for me, MSNBC would have no audience. I single-handedly have bailed out that network for the fourth day in a row."
"Try this headline: 'Obama Worries US Debt May Shape His Legacy.' Now, excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, but isn't it a little early to be worried about your legacy?"
"Damn well I intended to say it! I'll say it again now: 'I hope he fails.' Because, my friends, America wins if liberalism fails, and that's the bottom line."
"Barry White was an inspiration for fat guys everywhere. I mean, here he is decked out at 350 pounds in his all-white suit, drinking white wine with a slinky model."
"Obama knows this stimulus won't work. The Democrats know it won't work, too, and yet they want to do it. So why do they want to do it? Well, it must accomplish something, and it does, folks: It buys votes."
"Barack Obama's demeanor belies the fact that he is who he is. You would never think he's an extremist unless you took seriously who his mentors were."