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"I love dreams; dreams led to inventions, led to this country. But hope is a different thing. Hope, in many cases, is simply an excuse for not doing anything."
"The idea that Barack Obama is not a partisan, that he's a unifier... How can anybody today still go for that idea? The only way they can is to remember what he said during the campaign, but ignore what he's doing as president."
"So Governor Perry of Texas is not on board with anything that's happening out of the Obama administration. I guess, according to that Department of Homeland Security report, Governor Perry is a right-wing extremist and is encouraging militia groups to form."
"Wouldn't it be nice if the liberals of America actually acknowledged our real enemies the way they acknowledge conservatives?"
"I think I'll send Janet Napolitano a quick little note: 'Madam Secretary, given your latest report from the Department of Homeland Security, don't close Guantanamo Bay. Keep it open so you can ship all the right-wing extremist Americans there.'"
"This is why I love the truck driver community: these guys are the epitome of free market capitalism."
"You know what we have learned about the Somali pirates? The merchant marine organizers that were wiped out by the order of Barack Obama on Sunday? They were teenagers. Now, just imagine the hue and cry had a Republican president ordered the shooting of black teenagers on the high seas!"
"Polar bears don't see these global warming nincompoops and say, 'Ooh, there's our buddies! Let's go up and build a fire and sit around and chew the polar bear fat with these guys!'"
"Obama's like every other politician: he's about wiping out his political enemies. Unfortunately, though, he considers conservatives in the United States to be a bigger threat to his country and him than people who want to blow up this country."
"I'm too honest to be a politician."