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"Obama told us he had all the answers. He didn't tell us he was guessing. That bombshell comment from Biden is being treated like a wet firecracker."
"I'm getting tons of e-mail today, folks, from people who are surprised and upset over the news that ABC is turning over their network to President Obama. What's news about this? They did that back before Inauguration Day!"
"My cat is not a hater. My cat is just like every other cat: a superior being, indifferent to most everything, yet very loyal to me."
"Obama says we're not going to 'meddle' in Iran. What an amazing thing to say! It's a rationalization, in other words, for not speaking out for liberty -- and as revealing as anything about Obama."
"When people like me are invited on those types of late night shows, it's bare knuckles, clenched fists, who-the-hell-do-you-think-you-are kind of stuff. There's no interest in showing the humanity of a guest such as me, and I have lots of humanity."
"Can we just wait to see if anything else Obama does works before we mess up one-fifth of the US economy with his health care plan?"
"Boys and girls in the gay community, you have to understand something here: President Obama's getting busy. I mean, he has some things that rank ahead of you and your marriage rights. He has to finish off the economy and destroy health care first."
"Obama running around, talking about open and honest elections... What does he know about them? All he's ever done is teach ACORN how to cheat in elections!"
"Obama's ego is expanding faster than the Soviet Union was expanding back in the sixties and seventies, but there's no telltale birthmark on Obama to indicate it like there was on Mikhail Gorbachev."
"When you let liberals decide what's going to be bulldozed, then anything is up for grabs."