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"ACORN is Obama, and Obama is ACORN. You cannot separate the two. ACORN is freaking everywhere."
"You know, they're looking for a new judge to replace Paula Abdul on American Idol. How about Obama? He's doing television everywhere else! I mean, if Obama's willing to call Kanye West a 'jackass', imagine what he could say about some of the talent on American Idol."
"Let's just follow Eric Holder's advice and not be 'cowards' about all this. Let's have an honest conversation about all of our 'typical, white' grandmothers. You had one, I had one, and Obama had one."
"From ABC's The Note -- get this headline: 'Health Care Squeezed by Partisanship.' A partisan squeeze? How about the fact that it's a piece of crap bill that nobody wants or needs?"
"Robert Gibbs said last Friday that the White House was unaware of the DC rally, that he didn't know who the 'group' was. Gibbs, it isn't a 'group'. It is the American people who showed up. Protesting you. And your administration. And your policies."
"I just got a funny e-mail. Somebody saw me stand up here on the Dittocam and said about the shorts I'm wearing, 'Gee, it looks like you raided MC Hammer's bankruptcy.'"
"Obama is now booked for Letterman and five Sunday shows -- I kid you not! And three speeches today! Now, this is like Castro, and I'm not saying that halfheartedly or lackadaisically."
"You know what I would do if I were Fox News Sunday? I would have a panel of psychiatrists with the topic being, 'Why does Obama need to be on television every minute of every day?'"
"Let's examine this. The top news guy at ABC, Charlie Gibson, did not know about ACORN. Why? Why did Charlie Gibson not know these things? Was he too busy tracking the day-to-day activities of Sarah Palin with his reading glasses halfway down his nose?"
"Still pondering here, ladies and gentlemen, why it is that Obama refuses to help his brother in Kenya living in the hut. Maybe it's racism."