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"Ladies and gentleman, I, Rush Limbaugh, live in Barack Obama's head rent free."
"Maybe we ought to start putting stickers on journalists' foreheads -- something like, 'Obama-approved journalist'. Or, how about at the end of every story, 'I'm Barack Obama, and I dictated this story'. Well, that's what's happening in American journalism today."
"Obama is Van Jones, is Ron Bloom, is Anita Dunn. He just knows that if he spoke like they do, he'd be toast."
"Senator Charles Grassley thinks that the Health and Human Services website may contain propaganda. Folks, can we just save some time here? Everything from this administration is propaganda!"
"When will this president put aside his Max Headroom ego, his arrogance, his political agenda, and do just the right thing?"
"I was swinging the club so hard yesterday thatmy abs, when I woke up this morning, felt like I had been doing sit-ups. What, Snerdley? He's asking me how I know what sit-ups feel like. Because I had to do them when I was in high school, Snerdley!"
"Telling the Obama administration to stop their enemies list? Don't make me laugh! That's like telling the KGB to stop spying on people!"
"I will be honest with you: early on in my star-studded career, I wanted to be the smartest guy in the country. I've succeeded, but it's depressing because I am surrounded by pure idiocy."
"I'm still mad at the damn phone system, but I just want you all watching on the Dittocam to know that I was not mad at Gina. This is why I do not like cameras; a radio show is to be heard, not seen."
"Do you realize what an idiot you'll become with even casual exposure to CNN? Whereas if you listen to this show, you can't help but get smarter."