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"Barack Obama's head is getting so big now that his ears look like they fit."
"You Blue Dog Democrats, let me tell you something: You have to vote against this socialist, fascist agenda because it's the right thing to do. You Blue Dog Democrats are inexorably tied to those of us who want to save this country from the direction it's headed."
"When a person in power believes he is more important than the nation he leads, and believes his power is derived from his own special stature (and not from the people), we have a dangerous situation: tyranny."
"CNBC probably has a hotline from Jeffrey Immelt at the headquarters of GE, and whenever anybody starts going the wrong way about Obama, I'm sure that little red phone starts going off."
"Trying to own an NFL team is like the Secret Service and the FBI coming after you: they vet everybody in the group. Well, I guess they don't anymore because Fergie, who wets her pants on stage, is a Miami Dolphins minority owner."
"Forty-nine percent of voters nationwide say that passing no health care reform bill this year would be better than passing the plan currently working its way through Congress. Something is happening out there, folks. It's palpable. I can feel it."
"I don't do Halloween. It's not that I'm afraid, it's just… Folks, I can't do it. Some four-year-old from Chicago might show up with a razor blade."
"Story: 'Students often passed up free condoms at school because they thought the brand was more likely to break. Students said they preferred other brands.' Well, how about some of you students reject the brand of American history that they're teaching you and demand something else?"
"By the way, I'm surprised Major Garrett's alive. Did you know that Major Garrett had swine flu last week? I don't know if he got a vaccine or not, but I know he knows how to sneeze right because he was there when Kathleen Sebelius demonstrated how to put snot on your sleeve instead of in a Kleenex."
"I've railed against this notion that you can't win the presidency without the female vote, because conservatism will attract women. Conservatism will attract everybody. Conservatism is America!"