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The Messiah: Obama Saves

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RUSH: By the way, from State-Controlled Associated Press: "The White House also today announced the results of a study indicating impressive results in President Obama's post-Bush Afghanistan war effort. According to a report overseen by Vice President Biden, two-and-a-half million Afghan lives were created or saved thanks to President Obama. The White House study indicates that had President Obama maintained the Bush-Cheney-Rove war strategy, 500,000 additional American and Afghan soldiers would have been killed, one million Afghan citizens would have perished due to Bush-inspired battlefield tactics, and one million Afghans would not be born as a result of Bush's misguided strategy.

"Biden said there's no question that had George Bush still been the commander-in-chief, millions of Afghanis wouldn't be here to give their heartfelt thanks to President Obama. 'Let me be clear. This White House is pleased with the results of our dithering. Hopefully further dithering by the president will create or save even more lives in the days and weeks ahead. Stay tuned.' When asked if President Obama can actually create and save lives, Vice President Biden said, 'Hell, yes, that's what messiahs do. He can also lower the seas and heal the sick when he isn't golfing or shooting hoops with the guys.'" So 500,000 additional American and Afghan soldiers would have been killed were it not for the Obama war strategy in Afghanistan.

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RUSH: "Vice President Biden's office is saying that an additional 50,000 terrorists have not been created in Afghanistan due to President Obama's Afghanistan strategy." So, in addition, two-and-a-half million Afghan lives were created or saved, thanks to President Obama, 500,000 additional American and Afghan soldiers would have been killed had the Bush policies still been intact, one million Afghan citizens would have perished due to Bush-inspired battlefield tactics, and one million Afghans would not be born as a direct result of Bush's misguided strategy. And of those one million, 25,000 to 50,000 would not become terrorists." So the news is even better out of Afghanistan.

The White House has also just announced, via the department of Health and Human Services, that President Obama has saved five million American lives by having Kathleen Sebelius show them how to cough and wash their hands and be very wary of hand disinfectants. The numbers here just keep piling up, folks. It's a great day in the country. Five million American lives have been saved by President Obama by showing them how to cough correctly and to wash their hands. And this from the Commerce Department: "Due to President Obama's golf obsession, during a time of war and economic hardship, a Commerce Department study reports that President Obama's influence has created or saved at least 500,000 rounds of golf since taking office. Grateful country clubs and public golf courses have been phoning in their gratitude for the president's selfness and Herculean efforts to save their industry."

Five hundred thousand rounds of golf saved, despite the president saying, "The days of getting on your plane and heading out to Vegas" to play golf or whatever "are over," the people have still been inspired by his own multiple rounds of golf during a time of war and economic hardship. "Unnamed White House sources --" this is also the State-Controlled AP "-- an unnamed White House source also hints that early next week the White House will announce that President Obama has created or saved four-and-a-half million pickup basketball games, many of them at midnight, since his immaculation.

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