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"2010 might be a nightmare for PETA. Two animals may become extinct, RINOs and Blue Dog Democrats."
"AP story: 'From his home (not true, actually) and on a friendly network, Rush Limbaugh lobbed potshots across the airwaves Sunday at President Obama.' I think what I 'lobbed' was informed criticism, not potshots."
"Sarah Palin can't keep a crowd under 10,000 if she shows up anywhere, and Biden can't get any more than 200 people in Watertown, New York. Who's laughing at who?"
"What the media's really, really having a problem with is how I called Obama a 'man-child'. Oh, they are just freaking out over that! Do you know what a man-child is? Here's what it says in the Urban Dictionary: 'A man-child is a fully grown male that acts like a baby.'"
"Obama promises unemployment is going to continue to rise, but he's open to ideas. Oh? I thought you had all the answers, Obama? Fact is, you don't listen to anybody else's ideas. Your too-bloated of an ego will not allow anybody's ideas inside your skull."
"David Axelrod is getting upset over my claim that Obama's going to Dover was a photo-op. Well, let me ask you a question, Mr. Axelrod. Why were those cameramen there?"
"When we listen to Democrats, they tell us who they want our party to be, and they want it to be a bunch of Scozzafavas. They want it to be a bunch of squishy moderates because they know that moderates always end up voting with liberals."
"Nancy Pelosi reminds me of the late Liberace -- nothing against the late Liberace. I mean, she just looks and sounds like him, although Liberace did not want to destroy capitalism and liberty."
"Joe Biden, you seem to think that liberty and private property and capitalism are extremist views. Having been in public office since you were in your mid-twenties, you've never had to earn an honest living, you've never participated in the market system, and you don't understand what it is that makes this nation work."
"Mr. Snerdley asked a question: 'How come so many youths listen to me?' Because I'm cool. Because I'm hip. Because it's a good show. And because they love learning."