RUSH: All right, folks, you want to hear something funny? This is from The Hill, the Capitol Hill newspaper. Headline of the story: "Conyers: 'I'm Getting Tired of Saving Obama's Can.'" Greetings, my friends, and how are you? How is that hope and change working for you? Have you been reduced to eating vending machine cheese and crackers? Welcome to Obama's America. 800-282-2882 if you want to be on the program. E-mail address, ElRushbo@eibnet.com. (laughing) "President Barack Obama is...

RUSH: I normally would not even mention this. Senator John Kerry (who served in Vietnam)'s daughter has been arrested for DUI in LA. I normally wouldn't mention this, folks -- and I'm not going to make a big deal out of it now -- but I will say this: "I wonder if AP will assign an army of reporters looking into this," because you know that if this were Sarah Palin's child who had been stopped for DUI, more than 11 reporters would be looking into it, don't you?

RUSH: Greetings. Snerdley, I can't believe how you spelled Muncie, Indiana. (laughing) We have a call from somebody in Muncie, Indiana, which is M-u-n-c-i-e, and Snerdley has spelled it M-o-u-n-s-e-y. (laughing) Dr. Spencer sent me a note, Snerdley. He thinks that you put Katie up on the board to pay me back for chiding you for being late today. So now you're going to have to give me another wacko after I publicly admonished your lack of spelling correctness on Muncie, Indiana. BREAK TRANSCRIPTRUSH:...

RUSH: This is Katie from parts unknown in the Northeast. Hello.CALLER: Hi, Rush. How are you?RUSH: Fine. Thank you.CALLER: Hi. I spoke to you once before. I'm a conservative. I'm also a newspaper reporter. I'm now an unemployed conservative newspaper reporter. It has nothing to do with my politics because nobody knows about it. I have to keep it a deep, dark secret.RUSH: Right, I remember.CALLER: Yeah. Okay, I have a question for you. I was just driving home, and I --RUSH:...

RUSH: I want you to listen. Let me check the sound bite. Do I have time to squeeze this in? We do. I want you to listen to this. This sets up what's coming next. September 27, 2006, Washington, DC, Senator Barack Obama on the Senate floor.OBAMA, SEPTEMBER 27, 2006: The irony of the underlying bill as it's written is that someone like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is going to get basically a full military trial, with all the bells and whistles. He's going to have counsel. He's going to be able to...

RUSH: Ladies and gentlemen, I have something, we're going to post this at RushLimbaugh.com immediately. The webmaster is waiting on it. Algore has a new book out. It's called Our Choice: A Plan to Solve the Climate Crisis. And this book, according to our official climatologist here, Dr. Roy Spencer, University of Alabama at Huntsville, formerly of NASA, Dr. Spencer tells me that this Gore book is a metaphor for his twisting of reality to suit his needs. He took some NASA imagery of the earth...

RUSH: Speaking of black Americans, the Reverend Jackson -- have you heard about this, Mr. Snerdley? "The Rev. Jesse Jackson on Wednesday night criticized Rep. Artur Davis (D-Ala.) for voting against the Democrats’ signature healthcare bill. 'We even have blacks voting against the healthcare bill,' Jackson said at a reception Wednesday night. 'You can’t vote against healthcare and call yourself a black man.'" Jesse Jackson, there he is, the arbiter of race in this country. One of the...

RUSH: "The number of newly laid-off American workers seeking unemployment benefits, unchanged last week, remains above the level that would indicate the economy is adding jobs." (laughing) They're struggling so hard, State-Controlled Associated Press, "remaining above the level that would indicate the economy is adding jobs." Still, "new claims are down about 22% from the spring." That's because so many people have given up! "The Labor Department says first-time claims for jobless benefits were...

Rush's Morning Update: Fade-OutNovember 20, 2009Watch It! Download Morning Update Video in QuickTimeListen to It! Windows Media Player|RealPlayer I warned you. The unelected and unaccountable environmentalist wackos who comprise the California Energy Commission are prohibiting stores from selling television sets that don't meet certain energy requirements. The ban takes effect in 2011, targeting LCD and plasma TVs,which the public loves --and the wackos hate.Before the vote(which was unanimous),Art...

You're Missing Out on Thousands of Rush Quotes! Join Rush 24/7 NOW!"Anybody who wants to interfere with the pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness can screw off as far as I'm concerned. They have a fight on their hands.""Now, the reason that Katie doesn't have a job might be because she's obnoxious. It's entirely possible. Human behavior is what it is.""Obama's hair is turning gray because of the pressure? He's losing weight because of the pressure, too? That's the story? Well, it's because he...

Story #1:Obama's Mammogram Change is...Bush's Fault! RUSH: Hey, did you people hear, did you hear that Kathleen Sebelius, Health and Human Services secretary, is blaming Bush appointees, Bush administration officials for the mammogram change screening from 40 to 50? And wait 'til you hear the details of this story. The government is essentially saying now that it will not implement its own guidelines because there's been such an outcry over this.Story #2:Leggo My Eggo! Nationwide Eggo Shortage...