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"Anybody who wants to interfere with the pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness can screw off as far as I'm concerned. They have a fight on their hands."
"Now, the reason that Katie doesn't have a job might be because she's obnoxious. It's entirely possible. Human behavior is what it is."
"Obama's hair is turning gray because of the pressure? He's losing weight because of the pressure, too? That's the story? Well, it's because he cares so deeply, you know? He cares so deeply."
"Believe me when I tell you that Barack Obama and Eric Holder have the mentality of the ACLU, and remember: the original goal of the ACLU was to totally break down the US justice system."
"Dr. Spencer just sent me a note, Snerdley, and he thinks that you put Katie up on the board to pay me back for chiding you for being late today. So now you're going to have to give me another wacko because I just publicly admonished your lack of spelling correctness."
"We used to be a country where your dreams were your only limit, but now dreams are more than likely just to be dreams if this administration keeps on doing what it's doing."
"I want to do much more than buy a newspaper in a failing business. I want to try to re-instill in people a sense of self-worth, the old can-do American spirit."
"From Der Spiegel: 'Climatologists are puzzled as to why average global temperatures have stopped rising over the last ten years. Some attribute the trend to a lack of sunspots, while others explain it through ocean currents.' In other words, folks, they don't know crap."
"First we lose our homes, then our jobs, and soon we're going to lose our health care. But Eggos? That's not the America I know!"
"Jan, if I could hold you, I would, but you're a continent away."