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Thursday Quotes: A One-Man Stimulus

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"If you drive around in an SUV, you may as well be a marked person. They ought to make an SUV model named the Chevrolet Stigma."

"Who is responsible for this dramatic turnaround in what Americans think about global warming?"

"What are the odds I'm going to get an e-mail from somebody who understands the FlameThrower setting on the Aphex and went to Elkins Institute of Radio Electronics? This guy probably had a Remco Caravelle when he was growing up, too."

"A one-man stimulus package here for Waldo de los Rios CDs, all three of them showing increases in standings at the hit list at Amazon."

"Did you see Patrick Kennedy's meltdown on the floor of the House of Representatives yesterday? It was fabulous."

"The more public employment we get and the more money that goes to those jobs the less of it in the private sector. Jobs in the private sector produce things. Jobs in the government sector are a drain on the private sector by definition."

"T. Rex and Bang a Gong. We dedicate this bumper song to Eric Massa now trying to find himself."

"This program, I never know how it's going to shake out, it's improv. I kid you not."

"If I owned a New York restaurant, I'd refuse to serve any politician that walked in the door: 'You're trying to put me out of business, go starve, go down to the bodega and pick up something on the street side and eat that.'"

"I don't mean to scare you, but, I mean, you gotta take steps, we all do, whether the turtles force you to turn out the lights or what have you."

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