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"If it was laudatory to call Bill Clinton America's first black president, why can't we call Imam Obama America's first Muslim president?"
"'US Economy Showing More Signs Recovery Is Slowing.' In a related story, Brett Favre is showing more signs he's not retiring."
"Every bill that Obama has spends money that we don't have."
"'Let's get rid of the evidence of the failure.' That's what they mean when they say shut down Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac."
"We are talking about the president of the United States, who every day becomes a bigger mystery!"
"Whenever you try to hide who did you really are, like liberals have been doing for as long as I've been alive, the truth is eventually gonna surface. Who you are is going to be found out and discovered and it's not a pretty site when that happens."
"How many millions of Americans voted in that presidential race in 2008? And look at the numbers of people who have no clue whoObama is."
"I have always explained, comedy, good humor only works when there is an element of truth. Comedy that's based on total lies and falsehoods, it's not even funny."
"You and I have a familial-like bond. This is unlike any audience relationship I've ever had in my star-studded broadcast career."
"I don't hide who I am. I'm not phony and I don't try to make you think I'm somebody I'm not. And I don't try to act like somebody I wish I really were, 'cause I like myself. I throw myself out there, 'Here's who I am.' And Democrats, particularly liberals, have to lie about who they are, and Obama is at the top of that heap."