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"Democrats are doing everything they can to convince themselves, and as many people as possible, that Obama's policies had nothing to do with their defeat."
"Gallup says that Obama's approval numbers have jumped four points. Don't worry about it, folks. It always happens: Obama leaves the country, and the approval numbers go up."
"Story: 'Obama, who just lost control of the House of Representatives to the Republicans, unabashedly said the objective of his visit to India was to find jobs for his voters.' What? What about the people who didn't vote for him?"
"I don't respond to critics, as I'm too famous. I'm just too big. I mean, if I responded to critics, all I'd do is make them bigger."
"The message here is clear for the Republicans who now run the House of Representatives: You send a repeal bill up to this president every month, you debate it every day on the floor of the House, and you make the Democrats defend Obamacare."
"Obama a 'committed Christian'? I'm sorry, but you can't say that somebody's a 'committed Christian' when 30% of the country wonders whether or not he is a Muslim."
"Would somebody on my staff find out what the Food Network is saying about why the Democrats lost last Tuesday? Then I want to know what the O channel and TV Land are saying, but first the Food Network."
"President Bush, how many times a day in the last two years have you heard people tell you they miss you?"
"I'm telling you, it is uncomfortable as it can be to actually believe, much less say, that we've elected somebody who is happily presiding over our decline. I just don't like thinking this, folks."
"It's always great to be with you, my friends. I never take this opportunity for granted. I love this. I love you, I love the familial relationship that we all have, and we'll do it again in 21 hours."