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"If you want to make a conservative angry, tell him a lie. If you want to make a liberal angry, tell him the truth. Works every time."
"So the quarterbacks of the Miami Dolphins were crying. Now, I have never read or seen anything like this. Maybe this is what happens when you get two guys named Chad in the same room; I don't know."
"Did you know that 25 of the newly elected members of Congress are veterans? Twenty-five of them have offered their lives in defense of this country and everybody else's freedom, and yet the Democrats call them kooks and so forth."
"Let's move on to Alan Simpson Babe. Oh, and by the way, people keep asking me: 'Why do you call him Alan Simpson Babe?' Because he calls me Rush Babe."
"What are these guys over at the G20 supposed say? 'Oh, my gosh, make way, here comes The Messiah! Here comes Obama! He just got creamed in the midterm elections, but make way for Obama! I don't know if we have the ability to even be in the same room!'"
"Do you know what the point of Obama's Berlin speech was? It was Barack Obama saying, 'To hell with America -- I'm the world!'"
"Did you know that Axelrod's son works for the Huffing & Puffington Post? Not anything wrong with that, but, I mean, Axelrod just threw his own kid's publication under the bus here. You just can't trust those George Soros front groups even when they're on your own side."
"Robert Kennedy Jr. is Robert Kennedy Jr., but who appointed him climate expert? Oh, he set up an organization and he's worried about the filth in the Hudson River. Okay."
"Somebody asked me in an e-mail. 'Rush, did you see the show yesterday where Oprah had all of the other talk show hosts on?' Well, I looked into it, and I thought: What is this? 'Hi. This is Oprah calling. Why don't you come on my show? I want to remind everybody how insignificant I made you.' And they all showed up!"
"Jack Lambert would retire before wearing pink cleats."