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"I will be you that the Japanese make more ground in their rebuilding and recovery sooner than we get the World Trade Center rebuilt -- and we got a ten-year head-start."
"You know, the longer you live and the more disasters you see, the more you realize, ladies and gentlemen, that an almost equally important part of the story is the media. It really is."
"Meanwhile, Obama was out playing golf this weekend. I didn't even play golf. I stayed glued to gathering the news."
"You remember the old joke, 'More people have died at Chappaquiddick than have died in nuclear power accidents'? That was true for the longest time."
"Sarah Palin or Obama? Look, I don't understand all this. The problem is Obama! The Democrat Party is destroying the freaking country! Sorry to yell here, folks."
"If you to want be an accredited intellectual, one of the tests is, 'Do you hate Sarah Palin? Do you think she represents a pox?' And if you answer yes, then you will pass the test."
"John Edwards, as a human being, is clearly... what? Lacking? And yet there were intellectuals who thought that John Edwards was just the cat's meow."
"David Brooks was smitten with Obama because of the freaking crease in his pants. He said that! And these are the intellectuals."
"Remember how they said Gitmo was going to create a whole new generation of terrorists? Well, how about this? Any criticism of the Tea Party will create a whole new generation of freedom lovers."
"There is no one like me, Keith, but I appreciate your sentiment nevertheless."