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"Rush Limbaugh: the reason God invented radio in the first place."
"I don't know how to illustrate life in a country where the debt is twice the size of the economy, or even equal to it."
"Social Security is a Ponzi scheme. It is a Madoff-type Ponzi scheme."
"Profit does the most social good. There's no question about it."
"Liberalism fails every time it's tried. It ought have been relegated to the ash heap of the world years ago."
"No, I'm not playing as much golf as Obama is. I mean, to play as much as Obama I'd have to play for three straight weeks every day."
"Many people are addicted to the Dittocam. Many people are drawn to it for three hours each and every day, and it's a very difficult thing to not have available."
"I do not have my head buried in the sand. I'm not an ostrich. I live in Realville. I'm the mayor. I'm the town council president. I'm the police chief. There aren't a whole lot of people that live in Literalville, but I do."
"Manmade global warming is not science. Folks, if it were science, I'd be a believer. It's a consensus."
"The first couple days that our brand-new tea was on the market the largest number of orders the first couple days was from California. So plenty of conservatives out there."