"We've got a best-of show on Monday. People say, 'How do you select your best-of show?' We throw a dart at the calendar. They're all best-ofs."
"When one out of every five adults is struggling to survive in the greatest nation on the face of the earth, this is a disgrace."
"For the people who have been out of work a year or longer, this is not a recession; this is a depression. I don't care how the government defines it, that's what this is."
"Now, actually, there was a guy hired in August. And all of the networks had planned live interviews with the guy who got the job in August, but he got laid off on August 31st, so there was no job created."
"The left would love for the Tea Party to get distracted, start talking about immigration, abortion, gay marriage, all this other stuff, because right now the chief vulnerability faced by Obama and the Democrats is the economy."
"You and I together could come up with a jobs plan in the next five minutes that would create instant enthusiasm if people in the private sector thought it had a chance of being implemented."
"Jobs, stimulus spending, federal regulations, those are the three things that are killing this country. Those are the three things that every Republican needs to focus on."
"I get so ticked off at you intellectually lazy people who think that the government is God, that every dollar they get or spend is somehow sacred. There is more fraud and waste and misuse. If the federal government were held accountable to the law as corporations are held accountable, half the federal government would be in prison."
"Open Line Friday is the real American Idol, the longest running talent show in American media, because when we go to the phones, the content of the program is up to you. Total lovable rank amateurs."
"I have a very cool wife."
"Kathryn brought in Cambridge, the puppy, adorable little thing. The staff got totally distracted from doing their jobs, petting the little sheepdog puppy."
"You see the latest CNN/ORC poll? Supposedly more than eight in ten Americans think the economy is in another recession, 80%. When's the last time that 80% of Americans agreed on anything?"
"Every single policy that pops out of this president's mind involves the federal government, federal control, federal spending, federal subsidies, federal this, and federal that."
"We are a nation of individuals, entrepreneurs, wealth creators, and hard workers. We are not a nation built on dependence, subsidies, bureaucracy, and government."
"All of this talk about slipping back into recession and the jobs number, zero, I'll tell you, it's geared to next week's big speech. One thing: Smoothing the way for Obama to ask for another round of stimulus spending next week."
"One out of five Americans cannot find work in the greatest nation on earth."
"The only thing Obama could do that would be convincing in that big speech next week, is to resign."
"Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes, 1972. If You Don't Know Me by Now, you will never, never, never, never know me. We could have it as a theme song for the regime."
"Under My Thumb, Rolling Stones. I once got fired for playing that song too many times."
"This is the United States of America and we now know we've got somebody running this country who believes that its greatness is illegitimate, and we gotta pay the price for it."
"This nation is being held hostage by a small band of ideological radicals who have contempt for the American people and our economic system."
"Is Barack Obama himself not the greatest destroyer of private sector jobs in modern American history? It's a rhetorical question. Barack Obama single-handedly is the greatest destroyer of private sector jobs in modern American history."
"We've just got 14 months here, folks. Fourteen months to save this nation, 14 months to stop the assault on the private sector."
"If the labor force were as large today as it was when Obama was immaculated, the U3 unemployment rate would be 11.4%."
"The great thing about Apple products is you don't have to know how they work, they just do."
"Maybe the Limbaugh Institute for Advanced Conservative Studies ought to call for suggestions for Obama's plan since he obviously is completely incapable of coming up with any ideas that will really help."
"We have demonstrated that sending all this money to the federal government bankrupts and ruins and destroys the economics of this country. The federal government is not God. The federal government is not the best user of money."
"If you let the media make you, they will eventually destroy you. Never forget that."