RUSH: Cary, North Carolina. Helen has been on hold for quite a while. I appreciate your patience, Helen. Thank you.
CALLER: Mr. Rush, I would like to brighten your day. I know there’s been a lot of things going on that must have gone wrong.
RUSH: Everything! Everything that coulda gain wrong has gone wrong. It’s been almost comical.
CALLER: All right. I believe what I’m about to say just will brighten your day. We are so happy that you have created this Two If By Tea — and I’m not a commercial. I’m a 71-year-old woman who’s been a Rushie since we first found you driving home in Ohio years ago.
RUSH: Why, thank you very much.
CALLER: And you are our mega patriot. We’re going to have your tea at our Thanksgiving patriot dinner. We call it “the taste of freedom;” and at that dinner, we have two families, we have three cancer survivors, we have a man who has surd three deployments. We are truly Rushies, all of us.
RUSH: Wow. This is something.
CALLER: And I am looking forward to it because it will be the first time I’ve tasted it. I haven’t tasted it yet; I’m so anxious.
RUSH: This is incredible. I can’t believe what you are saying. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. This is overwhelming to me.
CALLER: Well, every year we try to do something, because Thanksgiving is so important to all of us because of everything that’s happened to us. We try to, in some way, have everybody involved. Everyone gets up and talks about what they’re thankful for — and my daughter-in-law started this. I love it. And I believe it’s gonna be wonderful.
RUSH: How many people total will be at your table?
CALLER: They bring friends. It’ll probably be ten to 14, maybe more.
RUSH: Ten to 14 people.
CALLER: If anyone wants to bring someone, they do. We make room.
RUSH: Well, that’s great.
CALLER: And it is something you should think about. This is the best thing for Thanksgiving that I’ve seen. I mean it is —
RUSH: Well, this is just overwhelming. And you’re going to serve Two If By Tea?
CALLER: You betcha.
RUSH: At Thanksgiving dinner.
CALLER: And I haven’t tried it yet. I’m looking forward to it.
RUSH: Well, if I say so myself — and I do ’cause it is — I don’t think you can find a better tasting iced tea out there. We wouldn’ta put it out there if we didn’t think so.
CALLER: Exactly. We trust you. I mean, absolutely trust. There is never any doubt. You know, we have no doubt about what you say.
RUSH: Well, I appreciate that.
CALLER: You have been a trustworthy person.
RUSH: I appreciate that more than you know. I really I really do.
CALLER: Yeah. I even wrote a poem about you, if you’d like to hear it.
RUSH: Whew!
CALLER: (giggles)
RUSH: How long is the poem?
CALLER: Not long, just really wonderful.
RUSH: Okay, I’ll go for it. I’ll go for it.
CALLER: Okay.
RUSH: Some people may say I’m being too self-absorbed here.
CALLER: “If you have a question or a comment, call in to EIB. Rush Limbaugh will answer; his truth will help you see. Dumbocrats can’t understand but his message is so clear. They tremble before his genius; his cutting edge they fear. Using only half his brain, he shares his intellect. Rush is right of right; no lefty crap you’ll get. He’s one of God’s messengers and tells us every day: Stand for truth; together we can save the USA.”
RUSH: That’s just beautiful. That is just beautiful! Helen, that is great.
CALLER: That’s the way we feel.
RUSH: We have an EIB poet laureate here.
CALLER: (giggling)
RUSH: We really do. I mean, you’re going to be serving Two If By Tea at your Thanksgiving table.
CALLER: Absolutely.
RUSH: Now, do you — and, by the way, how many poems have crap in ’em? I love that.
CALLER: I know! Exactly!
RUSH: I absolutely love that. Now, do you have…?
CALLER: That what you do just, you know? Don’t try to be one of those elites and use the big words. We can do that. We just don’t.
RUSH: Helen, do you have the tea?
CALLER: Not yet, but we will.
RUSH: Well, let contribute some to this.
CALLER: Oh, you don’t have to!
RUSH: Oh, I know. I know. I know I don’t have to. That’s precisely why I want to. I know you didn’t call here trying to game this. I know. So, Helen, do not hang up. A nice man named Bo Snerdley will be on the phone again with you to get shipping information and the kind of tea. We’ll ship some out to you in time for Thanksgiving. I’ll tell you what: We’ll make a deal; we won’t ship enough for all of you. You can still go buy some. Whatever will make, however you want to do it, but we’re really moved because you have hit the essence of what our product is about: Patriotism, devotion to the military, people who have given their lives and made the ultimate sacrifice for all of us to be free. We sponsor the Marine Corps-Law Enforcement Foundation with Two If By Tea. So you’ve captured the whole essence of it, and I thank you very much.