"If it weren't for MSNBC there wouldn't be any liberal sound bites. Now, that has to mean something."
"How many white Democrat candidates have been asked to take a lie detector test? Was Clinton? Was Ted Kennedy? Was Barney Frank? Herman Cain was."
"I don't know how this show is gonna go today because everything, I mean everything associated with putting this program together today has failed, has been a total 150% disaster. I'm in the mood to whine, since this is a nation of whiners."
"I'll guarantee you Newt is gonna be the next one targeted if he keeps this slow creep back up. This is how the left works."
"You don't need sex for there to be a Republican sex scandal. All you need are allegations. But a Democrat, as long as it doesn't affect your job, who are we to judge? There's a clear double standard, and it's one of the reasons why people are sticking by old Herm."
"I probably got two hours' sleep last night. Of course that usually means good things for the show, so we'll see."
"You get five people together to accuse somebody of something, does that make it true? Is that some part of Sharia law that I haven't learned about yet, or does having five people just make it harder to go into any of the specifics of any of their charges or their background?"
"The media is out there constructing 'what would Clinton do?' Clinton would call this panel of five women the band of bimbos, and James Carville would be out there waving a dollar bill in front of them to see how many of them would start disrobing for it. And he'd call whoever put it together a sex pervert."
"I don't know if you people realize this. This is precedent setting. We have found a tax that Obama doesn't like because it might help Christmas. Stop and think of that."
"Whoever ends up leading in Republican polling, there's an effort to take 'em out."
"When I heard Karl Rove basically attest to the credibility of Gloria Allred in the Herman Cain business, there's a message there, folks -- and the message is that in the Republican Party, the establishment really doesn't want conservatives to triumph. Well, the bad thing about that is that conservative wing of the Republican Party is where the ideas are."
"Folks, I don't want to panic you, but whoever you think is the most rock-ribbed conservative writing an opinion basically denouncing conservative theory and policy and agreeing with liberalism, that's who Laurence Silberman is."
"If Herman Cain lied and if it can be established that he lied and if there's some sexual harassment out there, guaranteed, folks, a slot at CNN. I give you Eliot Spitzer as proof."
"Maybe we get one of the Castro brothers to be the conservative standard-bearer in the Republican primary field. Yeah, appeal to the Hispanic vote, lock up the conservative vote in this country. I mean, with this move the Castros are to the right of Obama these days. In fact, the Castros are to the right of many establishment Republicans these days."
"The only way you prove a negative is with a lie detector, and that's even dubious, of course. If he passes the lie detector they'll just say, 'Ah, ah, ah, ah! That raises more questions than it answers.' There's no way that he is going to -- within the journalism community."
"Ladies and gentlemen, Obama has called off the Christmas tree tax. Just happened. I speak and he moves. And it's over with."
"Any conservative person of color who's nominated or seeks a position of high power is going to be targeted. That ain't how people of color are supposed to get there. If you don't go through the Democrat Party, they'll take you out."
"There is no global warming. It's getting colder. The charts, the data, all prove it. It is nothing more than a left-wing political weapon aimed at growing government, limiting freedom, raising taxes by blaming people for causing climate destruction, and the way you make 'em pay for it, save the planet, is to raise their taxes."
"You know, when Ann Curry starts talking about sucking the air, that makes me nervous, that makes me real uncomfortable. I don't like that. I'm sitting there, I'm just realizing how offended I'm getting."
"Our website gets updated as the show happens. It's no longer at 5:30, six o'clock each day. It's updated on the fly."
"The 30-second test of the emergency alert system didn't work. These people could not manage a one-car funeral. These are the people that are going to be warning us about a terrorist attack. Very reassuring out there."