"If you want to retard teenage hiring -- if you want to slow it down, if you want to limit the amount of teenagers to get jobs -- raise the cost of hiring them. And that's what an increase in the minimum wage is."
"This is a really polarized Republican primary. The people that don't like Romney, for example, viscerally don't like Romney. And the people that viscerally don't like Newt, viscerally don't like Newt. I mean there's no middle ground here."
"Businesses are having enough trouble as it is in this economy, and then to be told to go out and hire a bunch of people who have no experience and pay them an arbitrary amount of money that has no relationship to the business's operation or cost structure, is literally absurd."
"There is a Republican primary going on right now, and who votes in a Republican primary? Starts with a C. Conservatives. There are elements of conservatism that are fundamental. And we conservatives, we have radar. We know when somebody isn't."
"Every time a Democrat wins the presidency, we lose a little of this country."
"In 2013, no more nice Obama. If this guy gets four more years, there's nothing stopping him. The fact that he won't have to get reelected means there won't be any delaying the onslaught of the massive increase in the size, reach, and scope of government. It'll be Katie, bar the door!"
"The real safety net is a job, and the minimum wage is one of the many obstacles in the way of people trying to find work in this economy."
"The vast majority of people on the minimum wage are teenagers, young people. If the minimum wage gets too high and then they start cracking down on interns, what's the next place business will go? Illegal aliens."
"God bless him, Snerdley believes the only way we're gonna get the 'right' nominee is if I endorse whoever the 'right' nominee is."
"Every time a Democrat wins the presidency we lose a little of this country."
"Barack Obama is taking this country in the direction of Europe, just like everybody else. He's gonna make this country the exact kind of country your parents and grandparents fled."
"For the first time in a long time, I have a Stack of Stuff that's totally lighthearted, off the wall, goofball."
"Here's a whole new crop of 1%-ers, a whole new crop of people in the 1% bracket. The Facebook crowd, and the Occupy people are using Facebook in order to mobilize their protests. And so the people they think are on their side, Facebook, actually now become one of their enemies. The Occupy bunch is one of the elements pushing the Facebook crowd into the 1%. It's like the chickens arranging for Colonel Sanders to be assassinated. I just love it."
"Our nominee could be Mother Teresa and by the time they got through with her she'd be a prostitute with 15 illegitimate kids. It doesn't matter who our nominee is; they're gonna be all over it."
"I don't know how an airline can lose $5 billion a quarter and stay flying. That's above my pay grade."
"Take any person in this country who's totally absorbed in pop culture. The big thing in their life is watching Entertainment Tonight. They vote. If they vote, we're screwed. You know damn well they haven't the slightest idea what's going on. But that's always been the case."
"At a certain point in time in the future, there isn't going to enough money in the hands of other people to tax it and redistribute it. They will be bled dry. The Golden Goose won't exist. If this guy gets four more years, there's nothing stopping him."
"The media has concocted a false image of rich Republicans. The truly dastardly wealthy today are Democrats, there are far more of them. The true evil, mean-spirited, don't care about people rich, is the Democrats."
"Now, does somebody want to tell me the Democrats are not looking forward to running against Romney? You notice that Carville gave himself the option there to call him 'a detached doofus' twice in a 36-second sound bite?"