"I wonder if Mayor Doomberg has a backup plan in case some people get the idea of buying two drinks and combining them. How's he gonna deal with that? Has he even stopped to consider that people might just buy two? Once he figures that out he's gonna have to ban that as well."
"The lesson in Wisconsin is that conservatism works. Scott Walker has done everything that Obama says is impossible to do. He cut spending and expanded the economy while lowering taxes and laying off no one. It's amazing."
"People are living the reality of the job market. And AP and Reuters and the rest can do everything they want to try to convince people that everybody else is doing well. There's no evidence. You don't see it. Nobody's living it. So they're now becoming jokes."
"Do you realize, folks, only outlaws are gonna have Slurpees in New York? In addition to guns, only the outlaws are gonna have Slurpees."
"The portrait of George W. Bush -- it's hidden behind a drape, and they lift the drape and everybody looks at the portrait, and they applaud and so forth, and I was just hoping that somebody would have put a cartoon bubble near Bush's face and inside the bubble it said, 'Miss me yet?'"
"There are only three of them, maybe only two, golden Electro-Voice microphones in the whole world, made especially for the EIB Network and me, El Rushbo, your guiding light."
"As a rugged individualist and as a resident of Realville, one of the things that I, as mayor, realize is that no two people are alike. And in something which is medical or health-related, you simply can't say that something is true for everybody."
"I defy so many premises out there in medicine that it makes my doctors mad. My cholesterol is normal. My blood pressure is normal. My triglycerides are normal. I ought to be off the charts! I don't exercise. My lung capacity ought to be zero."
"Democrats have escaped the consequences of their actions for over a hundred years. History doesn't record them accurately when it comes to destroying things."
"Look at all the new taxes. Look at the further shrinkage of the employment base. Look at the slowdown of the economy that is, without question, coming. What part of that do the Democrats not want? It's all happening because of them."
"This fiscal cliff that we're headed towards? The Democrats are driving the car. If they don't want us headed to the cliff and going over, they would change the direction the car is being driven. But they're not. They're doubling down on it."
"What part of this agenda do the Democrats not want? Do you hear any Democrat arguing against the Obama agenda, other than Artur Davis who's leaving the party? You don't."
"If Obama and the Democrats don't want to be in power during the forthcoming economic train wreck, they would change their policies. But they're not doing that. They're doubling down on the speed, and it's full speed ahead."
"Obama is taking money out of the private sector every day. Obama is killing jobs in the private sector every day. There's no way that the private sector can grow. The government sector can and is, but it doesn't produce anything."
"Obama is a dinosaur. Obama is 50 years ago. Obama's still living in this mythical world where FDR almost had it right but he just didn't spend enough money."
"There's nothing 'forward' about Obama. There's nothing really 'progressive' in the sense that we are engaging in progress or having any, or moving forward in that way. We're going backwards. And the guy in charge thinks that he's making a gigantic transformation for the good!"