"No matter what you pop popcorn in, if it's not coconut oil, it doesn't smell like a movie theater. I don't care, Crisco, Wesson, Mazola, nothing is like coconut oil."
"Don't tell me about Obama having a bad week, because I have no sympathy. My concern is for the country and you and everybody who makes this country work. Barack Hussein Kardashian does not have bad weeks; we do!"
"The number of articles detailing the disaster that's known as Obama's campaign is astounding. There are at least two of them a day. And I'm telling you: If liberals are jittery now, can you imagine what's gonna happen if the Supreme Court strikes down Obamacare in whole or in part?"
"My life, my professional life has been enhanced profoundly by not having MSNBC on and not listening to the stupid sound bites that come out of the people that work there."
"If you want to tell us that large sugary drinks are dangerous, let us make the decision. If you want to tell us that big vats of popcorn you think are unhealthy, fine, let us make the decision. Put a label on it if you want to. You know, put a picture of a clogged artery on the popcorn bowl. We don't care. Just let us buy it if we want it."
"Everybody thinks that incumbency is an automatic shoo-in factor, and statistically, it isn't."
"I have a question. Will Spike Lee be taken to the woodshed for saying that some people who oppose Obama are not racist?"
"I wish I could listen to me. I never get the chance you get. Too busy being me. You get to listen to me."
"So the media is telling us it's been a bad week for President Obama. I'd rather look at it through a different prism. It has been not just a bad week, it has been a bad three-and-a-half years. Not for Obama, but for us."
"Every week is a bad week for America, with Barack Hussein Kardashian in the White House."
"When it comes to America, I am not Obama-centric. We were better off before Obama and we'll be better off after Obama."
"You know, most of the country, Mr. Milbank and Ms. Tumulty, most of the country is not asking with wringing hands and deep concern, 'Oh, my gosh, how is this news affecting our wonderful president?' They're asking themselves, 'When the hell is somebody gonna do something to change the direction this country's economy is going?'"
"Poor Obama had a bad week? On his worst week, President Kardashian has had it better than the richest man on the planet in recorded and unrecorded history."
"I'm growing weary hearing about Barack Obama having a bad week. The people who make this country work are suffering every day he's in office. And we have to hear about a bad week that Obama had? Really, it is so out of proportion."
"The minimum wage is an arbitrary number that's not related to anything. The minimum wage has no relationship to economic activity whatsoever. All the minimum wage does is lose jobs. All the minimum wage does is guarantee that young people are gonna have restricted entry-level job opportunities. That's all it does."
"Obama here has created a twofer, a jobless recovery and a wageless recovery. And yet they tell us, it's a recovery."
"The US economy is suffering its longest sustained bout of 8% unemployment or higher since the Great Depression, and they tell us Obama is having a bad week."
"James Carville is gonna have a new slogan, it won't be long. 'The economy isn't improving, stupid.' You can't talk about the economy improving. The economy isn't improving, stupid."
"I know a lot of people live in northern Virginia who will never accept the fact that Obama could lose it. I mean, that's the DC suburbs. That's all liberal Democrats. They're just gonna have trouble believing that."
"They canceled John King's show. John King's America. I don't know. I think it's very strange. Of all the problems they've got, to cancel that? But that's just me. And they called King's show hard-hitting. They thought it was a hard-hitting political show. It's a strange show to cancel in an election year, but like everything else over there, nothing makes sense."
"Everybody that knew my grandfather was profoundly impacted by him. He was a mythological figure. You've heard everybody in their family has somebody that's Mr. Perfect. They never smoked, never drank, never had a moral failing or anything of the sort. If anybody ever got close to that, it was my grandfather."