"I think these undecideds, these poor people -- these are your neighbors, our neighbors -- have been driven to near-insanity. Because they instinctively know what's right, and yet they see on the media every day that they're wrong."
"You understand why MSNBC wouldn't want their viewers to see Mia Love? You understand why NBC wouldn't want their viewers to see Mia Love? Or CBS or ABC or the New York Times or the Washington Post? She's an African-American. She loves her country and thinks the biggest problem it faces is Barack Obama."
"I want to know why these independents don't get turned off when Obama calls Romney a murderer and a felon. Why is it that the independents only get turned off when we're critical? And we're not even being 'critical' about Obama when we simply tell the truth!"
The only thing that's fascinating about football to me is the New York Jets haven't scored a touchdown in the preseason. For the first three games in the preseason, I don't know that that's ever happened. The Jets say that's okay, just wait 'til week one. We're keeping it all in reserve. He-he-he-he-he."
"Apparently in a Little League World Series, a pitcher hit a batter with a pitch and went to home plate and apologized. Now, when I was growing up, there was the Bob Gibson rule. When you hit 'em in the head, you throw inside again to show them you meant to hit them. That's the way I grew up, baseball."
"Look, it's not an official hurricane 'til Shep Smith starts crying, and Shep Smith hasn't started crying yet, so it's not really a bad hurricane."
"Republicans only care about the rich and Wall Street, and that's what doofuses, morons in this country believe. The people who are not informed, who think they're lifelong Democrats, born and raised hearing that every day of their lives, particularly if they're members of unions, that's what they've heard."
"I think the Moderates instinctively know what's right and wrong, good and sensible, but they're told every day by the media and the pop culture that they're not right, that they're wrong. So it makes 'em nuts. They have been made schizophrenic. They're nuts out there."
"One thing that's undeniable, folks, the Democrats do love poor people. They seem to create millions of new ones each year. They love poor people so much, they create new ones as often as they can."
"Why is it a crime to defend the rich? I mean, after all, they're citizens, too. They've worked hard. Why is it that everybody thinks they have a claim on everything the rich have? This is the perversion that the Democrat Party, the American left, liberalism, has visited upon our culture and our country, and it's sickening, and it is pathetic."
"It's a Cat 1, and Katrina was all the way at Cat 5, revised to a Cat 5. Kind of like the unemployment numbers were revised. They revised Katrina after the fact, you know what, Cat 5 there for a couple of minutes."
"New York Daily News headline. This is a news story! Get this. 'Ann Romney Leads Way as Republicans Kick Off Convention by Wrapping Brutal Attacks on President Obama in Blanket of Sentimentality.' Would somebody please...? I watched this last night. Would somebody please direct me to the 'brutal attacks on President Obama'? I'm having a tough time recalling his name coming up."
"It's a good thing I have a steel spine or I would be one of these schizo swing voters."
"You boil this down, it seems like at every turn, whoever the Republicans of prominence of the day happen to be, because of all this they have to go out of their way to prove themselves that they are normal, when they already are. They already are normal. They're average. They're harmless. They're none of what they are alleged to be. And the party of abnormal and the party of genuine mean-spirited extremism gets away with making these allegations, and they are never on the defensive about any of it."
"I will always tell you what I really think about things, and I'm never falsely optimistic. I'm a naturally optimistic person."
"I think the reluctance on the part of the convention to go after Obama equates to a perception that there's no leadership -- and people want leadership. There was a lot of hope that Christie was gonna do that last night. And he chose to go another way."
"You think I like criticizing General Motors? General Motors is an American icon. Obama has come along and tainted it."
"If Obama had anything to do with economic improvement in Ohio, then why hasn't he done it anywhere else?"
"How many Democrat mayors, how many Democrat governors will be able to show up at the Democrat convention next who've cut taxes and increased employment? Zip, zero, nada. How many Democrat governors or mayors will show up with positive stories to tell about their governance and their states and communities? Zip, zero, nada."
"But don't forget in 2008 we weren't allowed to say Obama's middle name. We couldn't say Barack Hussein Obama. This time we're not supposed to say his first name or his last name, either, is one way of interpreting this."
"I never have asked myself what I think the audience wants to hear and said it. I've never done that."