"What is the Democrat Party known for? What is it thought of? It's thought of as the party of free stuff. It's part of what everybody thinks of as compassion. In fact, it's the Democrat Party that's Santa Claus, folks, not the government. It's just the government when they run it."
"EIB amnesty offers immediate citizenship for every illegal in the country right now. Just come forward. Only requirement is you can't vote for 25 years."
"Barack Obama was running television ads in Mexico targeted at Mexicans who planned on coming to the United States. And do you know what the commercials were about? How to get food stamps. Now, what is that? There's a word for that. It's called Hispandering."
"I know Obama's got a dog and pony show going, and we're rolling on it. I wasn't gonna JIP this because I don't know what it is. He's addressing the fiscal cliff but I can tell you it's a campaign appearance, because there's a crowd of people on risers behind him, and they apparently represent every faction of America."
"Have an okay weekend. Do you still want to feel miserable? I think you should, and then we'll be back here on Monday. See you then."
"Nobody associates voting for the Republican Party and getting stuff, do they? Everybody associates voting for the Democrat Party and getting stuff. I don't care how it offends people. I don't care if it seems abrasive. It's undeniable."
"All Washington does is exacerbate a problem. They create a problem. They then say they're the only ones to fix it. They go in and fix it, and the problem gets bigger."
"If you're in the unions, you know full well that the game is stacked in your direction. So you're voting Democrat. If you're Hollywood, if you are academia, you're voting it because you supposedly believe the ideology. But what do you believe? What is the ideology?"
"Romney got the independent vote and what happened? He didn't win the election, did he? You notice how easy it is to talk Beltway Republicans into strategies, policies that are suicidal?"
"Money is being taken away from the private sector via any number of government programs. The government's what's swelling; the government's what's getting bigger. And now we've got the fiscal cliff that everybody's worried we're about to head over."
"Remember, if you see a homeless person in New York, you are not permitted to donate food. Mayor Doomberg has said that food donations to the homeless are not permitted because there is nobody in place right now to check the salt and fat content of the food that you are donating, and therefore no donations are permitted."
"What do you think we could get shipped in there faster, gasoline or booze? Booze? I think so, too. You know, gasoline shortages are one thing, but a liquor shortage, that's gonna get people upset."
"I'm suggesting that Obama nominate Romney as his secretary of business. It worked every time we put the Bushes and Clinton together for tsunami relief. Oh, yeah, bipartisanship and working together, and look what happens when we work together. It actually would be a smart move for Obama. To appoint Romney to something? And if Romney took it, it would be a huge deal for Obama. Stop and think about it. And I don't mean it in a good way."
"I think they'd love it. If the Republican Party caved, if the Republican Party gave up and just became Democrats that called themselves Republicans, that'd be cool, they'd be cool with that."
"So, carrying this forward, if we want outreach for the single women vote, we now have to be pro-abortion and we have to be in favor of giving away birth control pills as part of every health insurance policy in the country. That's the ticket, right? I mean, how else are we gonna get those voters, folks?"
"Believe me, if votes turned on the appearance of Obama in the aftermath of Sandy, then he is Santa Claus. There's no other reason for the vote to turn. He's gonna come in and give stuff away. He's gonna come in and help. He is Santa Claus."
"Guess what? Obama's approval rating is back below 50%. Shazam. Just like that, his approval rating is below 50%. It's 49% approval, 45% disapproval. Disapproval went up 1%."
"How many of you are surprised I am here? How many of you people thought that I would take a vacation starting Wednesday? Well, yes, I know Monday's Veterans Day. What about it? What's that got to do with me taking a vacation? See, here I am trying to make a point."
"What better way, folks, to totally dispirit and depress the Republican Party than to nominate Romney to some position and have him take it. Secretary of business. I'm just telling you, I wouldn't be surprised if it happens."
"Every business in this country is facing increased taxes, if not just income, Obamacare taxes. We have a genuine Taxmageddon hitting in January. That's what all this fiscal cliff stuff is talking about."
"Barack Obama has never created a job in his life. He doesn't know what's involved. Why would businesses want to go up and learn anything from Obama? He's got nothing he can teach them."
"We live in an era where a majority of Americans believe that the government has all the answers to every problem that's out there. It's how they've been raised. It's how they've been taught. It's what they genuinely believe. But I'm telling you, there isn't a business owner in this country who has anything he can learn from Barack Obama because Obama doesn't know what he's talking about."
"If you're a Democrat, and you can import somebody who already believes government's the answer, then you're ahead of the game. You don't have to educate 'em that way. You don't have to indoctrinate them or train them. If they arrive that way, you're really way ahead of the game."
"I've got a theory about young people, and I think young people are terribly insecure, under 30, they're insecure about their future, they're insecure about themselves. I mean, success is a daunting thing to everybody."