"Have you ever noticed, folks, that the people that win lotteries look like the same people visited by UFOs?"
"Santa Claus wants to take his sleigh over the fiscal cliff. There's no question about it now. None. Whatsoever."
"The national media lived in New Orleans! The national media shed tears in New Orleans. Part of the flooding was Anderson Cooper's tears and Shep, What's His Name, Smith's tears. Crying all day long, all day and all night on television. And you can't find the national media in Staten Island."
"I think you could intellectually say, honestly and correctly say that Obama did not win this election based on massive tax increases, even more massive spending increases. He didn't run on that. And had he, he would have lost."
"What did Obama really win this election on? In one part he won this election based on free contraceptives. That's his mandate, if he's got one. Contrary to what the pro-Obama forces want to believe, this was not a grand philosophical election."
"If there's one area where we don't exist, it' pop culture. It's why I keep saying that our comeback is not just gonna be political; it's gonna have to be cultural as well."
"Have you seen the latest Gallup poll asking people how they identify? Fifty-five percent of people say that they are comfortable being called socialists. So I would say the next time you want to call a liberal Democrat a socialist, go right ahead, they're proud of it."
"When you accuse them of winning this election on Santa Claus, they go nuts. So they don't yet want to be thought of that way, not en masse, even though they're happy for their voters to look at them that way."
"The Democrats create a fiscal crisis, they take us to the brink, and then it's all blamed on the Republicans, and then the pressure to stop it is placed on the Republicans, and every two years the Republicans play ball with this. Every two years they accept their assigned role in this little play. And I think it's time that they stop talking like bureaucrats and robots, stop using the typical Washington government-speak and just come out and boldly, bluntly say, 'We're not gonna support Obama bankrupting the country.'"
"You cannot look at Barack Obama as a standard, typical American or Washington politician. He doesn't have the same concerns. You got all these analysts who naturally think that presidents care about reducing the debt, care about their legacy, care about making sure that the economy grows. Where's the evidence that Obama cares about any of this?"
"I'm still struck, I'm not trying to single myself out for anything special here. Four years of experience watching the guy, I don't see where the evidence is that he cares about cutting spending."
"Student loan debt is now to the point it'll never be paid back. Student loan debt, aggregate, the cumulative total now, it'll never be repaid because it's made up of individuals who are never gonna earn enough money, given Obama's policies, to get close to paying it back, which is just fine with Obama."
"Most people have to go into real debt to go to college, and that's just four years undergrad. You stay in college longer, that's more loans. Money you'll never pay back. Money you'll never get out from under. And that's fine with typical progressive Democrats of the day, keeps you attached to them. Your future is in their hands."