"I'm trying to sound less confident, less sure of myself. I come along and I sound so damn sure about everything, it's threatening. And I want to be less threatening. I want to be more metrosexual, except for the weight loss. I don't want to go that far."
"All the gun laws in the world are not gonna cure mental illness. All the gun laws in the world are not gonna prevent people who really want to go get a gun from getting one."
"The truth of anything doesn't matter anymore. What's right doesn't matter. What makes economic common sense doesn't matter. I'm blue in the face over it."
"The president once again, attempting to upstage me. It's no accident, ladies and gentlemen, his press availabilities start between noon and three when he decides to do them."
"Collective solutions to individual problems is very seductive. It's how Obama gets elected, by the way."
"I've had to evolve my own life lessons. When I started this program in 1988 not one person who knew me thought I hated anybody or thought I was a racist, sexist or bigot. And within six months of this program starting I was all of those."
"I had to learn early on that where conservatives are concerned, the truth about them is the last thing anybody wants to report. It's the lies and distortions, the mischaracterizations, the character assassinations, that people want to report."
"I've had to learn to take being hated and despised as a measure of success."
"Everybody wants to be loved by everybody, and they'll do everything they can to be loved, including not be who they really are, from person to person."
"Robert Bork passed away today, and it's an utter shame that he did not realize his dream sitting on the US Supreme Court. He would have been one of the premiere justices to have ever sat."
"We've never had a more radical, we've never had a more partisan politician in the White House than Obama. It's only a low-information voter (we used to have call 'em "morons") that could think he's outside of politics."
"The new stupid America? That should have been Man of the Year. Person of the Year: Stupid people. The low-information voter should have been the Person of the Year."
"It seems truth is a huge casualty in our country. Right and wrong don't exist anymore. It's far worse than I think any of us thought it was gonna be."
"I, frankly, don't know how to communicate with morons. That is one of my big problems. I do not know how to communicate with them."