"What hurts children each and every day is parents without jobs. And what has the president done about that? Not much."
"Maybe it's a Hawaiian thing to make up girlfriends. Well, Obama did it. He had a 'composite girlfriend' in one of his books."
"What do you mean, 'the Algerian situation'? What Algerian situation, Snerdley? There's nothing about that on TMZ. I don't know what you're talking about."
"You know, if Obama had just one executive action yesterday outlawing hostage taking, it wouldn't have happened, right?"
"My question is: will undocumented gun owners get free health care and in-state tuition?"
"When I'm right, it really bugs the left."
"Your average guy gets home at the end of the day and finds out via the news that there was a shooting massacre in Newtown, Connecticut and that the NRA is the problem. News is not news anymore, and these people aren't journalists."
"I'll tell you the truth about the Civil Rights Act: the Civil Rights Act would not have become law were it not for the Republicans in the Senate."
"If children at risk because of gun violence is the number one story, then how in the name of Sam Hill can the media not be in Chicago every day?"
"I have no doubt that the media's not focusing on Chicago because it's a Democrat stronghold, and bad things that happen in Democrat strongholds just don't get reported. Detroit would be another example. New Orleans would be another example. Oakland California another example."
"Wherever you have an absolute societal and cultural mess, the odds are the Democrat Party has been in total control of the place for years."
"There are Americans being held hostage in Algeria, but so far no video has been found to explain it."
"You want to help children, Mr. President? Turn the energy sector loose. Stop opposing fracking. Come up with policies to help parents find good paying jobs."
"The American left wishes they could change the Second Amendment. And if they could, they would. But they will never tell you that. They'll deny it, in fact."
"I called Kathryn this morning and said, 'Are you a hoax? I need to know. Is this real or is it not?'"
"The media consensus apparently is that Manti Te'o was a victim of a hoax because he's such a gullible guy, which means they'll get around to blaming all this on concussions before this is all over. You know, you get head injuries playing on the gridiron."
"In the immediate days after something like Newtown, that's when the left moves mountains to try to get what they want done. As time goes by, support for it dwindles as emotion is replaced by rationality. That's why they have to act fast."
"The emotion is fading now -- and rationality is ratcheting back up -- so the talk of 'gun control' has been replaced by 'gun violence,' and 'executive actions' are now 'executive orders.'"
"Five separate times Manti Te'o's girlfriend died in major media sources, and none of the major media sources dared or cared to look into it -- because they like the narrative."
"How many women did you sleep with on the phone, Brian, before you got married? How many women have you slept with on the phone? Even after you got married. Be honest."
"It's all about branding in American celebrityville today. It's all about branding."