"I know some of you may have a distressingly partisan view of the festivities in Washington. You may not be on board with all the jubilation. So look at it this way: Today marks the midpoint of the Obama presidency. In other words, this is hump day. It's all downhill from here!" -Mark Steyn

"Bangin'" Presidential Inauguration

"Do you know how unusual it is around the world for a new presidential term to begin as an act of peaceful, democratic renewal?" -Mark Steyn

• Politico: State of the Union Registers at 8th Grade Reading Level
• UKDM: Thrifty Michelle Obama Recycles Sequined Michael Kors Dress She First Wore In 2009 As Proud President Tells The Crowd, "I Love My Wife's New Bangs She Always Looks Good!"
• USA Today: The World Reacts to Michelle Obama's Bangs
• WSJ: Beyonce Belts Out National Anthem at President Obama’s Inauguration

National Squirrel Appreciation Day

"I did not know that it was National Squirrel Appreciation Day. I did wonder why Joe Biden was wearing the dead pelt on his head, and now I know. Of course! It's a gray squirrel he shot with a fewer-than-ten-round weapon." -Mark Steyn  

• National Squirrel Appreciation Day
• NYP: OMerica. Obama’s Success Or Failure In The Next Four Years Will Determine The Course Of America For Generations
• Politico: Inauguration 2013: Ralph Nader Sees "Political Bulls---"
• Daily Caller: Top Aide: Obama Seeks to Split Republican Party Into Warring Factions Before 2014 Midterm Election
• AP: Guests for Obama's Private Swearing-In
• WSJ: His Terms Are Always Hostile Ones. No One Has Good Faith But Obama. Doesn't This Get Boring, Even To Him?
• CNN: Foreman: My Last Letter to the President
• Washington Times: Obama Gut-Busting Lunch Menu Tops 3,000 Calories

Mark's Thoughts on Martin Luther King Day

"We need to get beyond all this lousy identity politics and deal with people as individuals on the content of their character." -Mark Steyn

• Martin Luther King Jr. Day Observances
• CNN: By the numbers: Martin Luther King Jr. Day
• CNN: Why Conservatives Call MLK Their Hero

More Stories Discussed on Today's Program...

• Yahoo: Boris Says Snow is Start of "Mini-Ice Age"
• UKDM: Wanted: "Adventurous Woman" To Give Birth To Neanderthal Man - Harvard Professor Seeks Mother For Cloned Cave Baby 
• Daily Caller: Pro Golfer Phil Mickelson May Leave US In Response To State, Federal Income Tax Hikes
• NYT: Be Ready To Mint That Coin
• NYP: Lance Armstrong Books Headed to Fiction Section of Australian Library
• CNSNews: Schumer: Senate Dems Will Pass Budget for First Time in 4 Years

"Don't let downers and losers and embittered bitter-clingers tell you that the important issues are the Second Amendment or drowning in multi-trillion-dollar debt or Phil Mickelson deciding that he's going to give up golf because he doesn't want to pay California's 62% tax rate. Don't think about what happens to you if you're 'rescued' by Algerian special forces. Don't think about any of that. The real important critical takeaway of this glorious day is that Michelle Obama has the most spectacular new bangs!" -Mark Steyn