"Well, I think we can say that my New Year's resolution to adopt and keep a lower profile is out the window."
"My friends, Obama would never do anything to try to limit me or my right to express myself. He'd never sick any of his minions on me. He'd never try to gin up phony boycotts. That would never happen. Only dictators like Hugo Chavez do things like that. The president wouldn't do that. Not at all."
"If President Obama is going to weigh in on football safety, maybe we need to ask Terrell Suggs of the Ravens about how to reduce the deficit."
"If Fox News and I are the only things keeping the Republicans from caving to Barack Obama on every issue, I'm not paid enough."
"One of the things that really makes me curious is the romantic notion people have of government. Look at the number of people who actually think Barack Obama is the guy to design a health care system, to set up the rules on abortion and contraceptives, to tell football players how they should play the game. He's a man who hasn't done anything!"
"So while Obama doesn't want his son, Trayvon, to play football as it's currently played, he'll be happy to send your daughters off to combat. Okay."
"If you have the courage to admit it, this is the left's attitude about virtually every problem in society: you don't know what's best for you, and somebody else has to move in."
"Certain people are allowed to inject their politics into sports, and other people aren't. If you're a good liberal in standing, you can inject your politics into sports all day long."
"If you really want to get rid of the problems in the NFL, put Obama in charge of it: in a few months it will be so deep in debt it will have to go out of business -- no more concussions."
"I'd love to say that I find myself here because of a brilliantly conceived and flawlessly executed strategy, but one of the reasons that Fox News and I stand out like sore thumbs is because the rest of the media long ago ceased doing their jobs. They are just part of the agenda advancement team now."
"If Richard Nixon had endeavored to 20% of what Obama's doing right now, the roof would've blown."
"We have an ongoing outreach effort here at this show to the low-information voter. We're doing it every day on this program, and I've gotten got a feedback. I can't tell you how -- it would blow the whole thing -- but it's working. Don't doubt me. You can trust me on this."
"Oh, yeah, the Democrats really respect and like the Republicans. That's why they smeared Robert Bork and Clarence Thomas."
"It continues to blow me away that people will put all their faith in somebody who doesn't have the slightest idea how any business, industry or service works. This is the result of 50 years of class envy, folks."
"Norway data shows that the earth's global warming is less severe than feared. Of course this is true. We didn't need Norway data to know it, but it's good to have."
"I got a serious number of e-mails questioning my sincerity -- which wounded me to the heart -- on the fact that I was shocked last week when I learned that the Northeast was not back to normal following Hurricane Sandy. I'm telling you, I was not kidding. I really thought the problems had been solved. I honestly did."