"Like I say, if 70% of these illegals voted Republican, the Democrats would be the ones building the wall on the border."
"It was just five minutes ago that we had to get rid of guns. Today we have to have amnesty. Tomorrow it's going to be something else. In every case, you know who the enemy is: people who believe in the rule of law."
"When you get down to the basics of Republicans versus Democrats, there is no common ground, there is no place for compromise. The Democrats are not even into compromise!"
"I can't imagine telling you about a woman with eight foot hips and having a picture of her and not showing you."
"My question is, does the president really want an immigration reform bill on his desk that he can sign, or would he prefer to have an ongoing, unsolved issue over which he can beat the Republicans' heads?"
"I think the president's having a grand old time, folks. I think he is enjoying beating the Republicans up left and right. I think he's enjoying the media helping him do that, too. I think he's having the time of his life. So why stop now?"
"The Democrat Party doesn't want a secure border because the Democrat Party needs a permanent underclass. They need a certain number of voters in constant economic distress and in need of government assistance."
"I want to repeat a very simple proposal I made back in November, because I am interested in compromise. I suggested this: I said that I will openly back blanket amnesty if there would also be a ban on illegals voting for 25 years. I notice I didn't have any takers."
"Is Marco Rubio good or what, folks? He stayed on point, he stayed on message, and he believed it. You can tell that he didn't need notes or a prompter."
"I'll say this, too: Marco Rubio is a guy who does not fear talk radio. He embraces it. He is not at all intimidated by what would be said about him coming on this program. So kudos all the way around."
"It's not time to panic yet. And if that moment arrives, I will not hold back. I will also not totally dominate the panic -- I'll share it with you when it happens."
"Let's say the Democrats win the House in 2014 or come close. Would you be surprised if a bunch of Democrats call a press conference one day and suggest repealing the amendment to the Constitution limiting the president to two terms and having it apply to Obama?"
"Sheryl Crow had this idea of one sheet per person when in going to the bathroom. This was back when she was dating Lance Armstrong. Hell, I would dope, too."
"By the way, I thought we were supposed to resent successful people; I thought they were the problem, right? So what is Obama doing talking about the next great CEO or inventor being among the illegal immigrant population? I thought we didn't like those people."
"Everybody knows an orgasm leads to smoking."