"I don't think any network other than Fox is covering the Chris Dorner case. Chris Dorner is the left-wing wacko inspired by Colin Powell, Chris Matthews, Anderson Cooper and a bunch of left-wing actors. He is the former LA cop who's on a killing spree."
"I can tell you that 90% of the Republican strategists on TV have nothing to do with the party -- they're just people that have opinions who go on television and voice them."
"Mark Potok looks like he could star on The Walking Dead; he'd be one of the walkers. No, I'm not trying to be insulting. I'm just sharing with you my impression of the man when I look at him. Just painting a picture. It's what we do on radio."
"I've lived through two 25-inch snowstorms in New York City, and I'm here to tell the tale. I survived, and you can, too."
"You really shouldn't shovel snow, but if you do, make sure you take a couple of aspirin every five minutes so that if you have a heart attack you might survive to make the phone call."
"I had a Flexible Flyer sled growing up. No, I didn't get a concussion, but had I known the great risk that my parents were putting me through, I might have sued them later on."
"If you're walking and you see a patch of yellow snow, it might look like a natural snow cone to you. Don't eat it! Do not scoop it up and eat it. Yellow snow is not good for you."
"There's a period of time during the Benghazi attacks in which Obama can't be accounted for; nobody knows where POTUS was. And that's always been the question: why wasn't he engaged? Why wasn't he involved?"
"If it weren't for global warming, we wouldn't even be talking about freezing temperatures, ice, snow, and sleet, but because of global warming, lives are at risk."
"Snerdley just said that women's personalities change on their own anyway without mysterious deadly diseases. That's the typical sexism that you get from the right wing these days. You need to learn to channel that, Snerdley."
"Snerdley just said, 'How did the pioneers survive?' They ate each other. They freaking ate each other, Snerdley."
"So according to this poll, young adults between 18 and 33 are more stressed today than any generation, ever -- including the Greatest Generation, including the Neanderthals. Well, what's causing this is the Republican Party."
"Wow: Mayor Doomberg in New York stealing my blizzard survival tips. It happens, folks. Everybody steals everything from me -- I can't complain."
"On CNN, there is a reporter standing out in the snow, and she is telling people what it's like in the snow so that you don't have to go outside and risk your life to find out what it's like. The reporters will do that for you, and they will tell you not to do what they are doing -- as a public service."
"Most people in politics don't understand -- even after 25 years -- what I or this show is all about. It really is amazing."