"The fact that there were no reports of mass death over the weekend indicate that everybody listening to the program in the Northeast followed the advice that we gave, and therefore you are alive and we're happy."
"Education means so much. Education is so important, and our program last Friday stands as a monument to the importance of education and the survivability of the human race."
"I have been urged to make an announcement to the Democrats in the audience to assure them that I am not stepping down. Well, there were reports that the pope is resigning -- that was the other pope who retired."
"The inauguration speech of Obama was a left-wing manifesto, and it was not reported as such because the media does not consider anything that leftist to be abnormal or shocking or out of the mainstream."
"You know what happens when a journalist has journalism committed on 'em: they go absolutely bonkers. You don't dare investigate them; you don't dare subject them to the scrutiny that they use to scrutinize others."
"Far from being worldly and aware, journalists live in this narrow little bubble -- and yet they end up being perceived as experts, and the people who are the doers in society are the ones who are the criminals."
"If you look at Obama's resume, he hasn't done anything, particularly in the private sector. Yet what is he? Expert on jobs, expert on health care and an expert on related to things like pharmaceuticals, automobiles. Expert on saving money. Expert on immigration. Expert on virtually everything."
"Deb Feyerick... We looked at her bio on the website at CNN. It says that in her spare time, she likes to write about life as a working mother, she speaks French, and she once delivered a cow while on assignment. So maybe she is a doer."
"Vinny, I tell you: I think this is the first talk show in history where both the caller and the host are accused of thinking too much."
"The entire Obama MO -- and it's been this way ever since Obama got into politics in Illinois as a state senator -- has been to clear the playing field."
"David Ignatius of the Washington Post: sadly, another journalist whose career I may have just ruined. His next assignment will probably be the Westminster dog show. Well, we hope not."
"Folks, I don't think that the low-information voters found the Grammys all that exciting last night. Well, there wasn't any anti-Bush rhetoric or wardrobe malfunctions."
"Obama's not postpartisan, postracial, messianic, a nice guy, or a unifier. This guy's a divider and a destroyer."
"After every mass killing in this country, the media turns over every rock trying to find any evidence whatsoever that the killer was inspired by conservatives. Yes Christopher Dorner is admitting that he idolizes left-wingers in politics and in the media, and it's not news. It's no big deal."
"I fully expect many of you to think I don't know what I'm talking about, but in a couple of months, you'll come around."