RUSH: What did I tell you about CNN yesterday? CNN's new niche is gonna be high class trash news, National Enquirer with a British accent. And folks, we've got the audio. Wolf Blitzer doing a report featuring pictures of him with celebrities at the NBA All-Star Game or wherever it was. I just got the sound bite roster. I mean, sometimes I amaze myself. It's like Kim Kardashian amazes herself. Listen to this. This is from Fox News. This is not from TMZ. Kim Kardashian said, "If I was a man, I would want to have sex with myself." She was talking to her sister Khloe and she said, "If I was a man, I would want to know what it's like to have sex with myself. I would just want to know what it would feel like."
So Kim Kardashian just said, "Go screw yourself," to herself and was not insulted. She would want to know what it's like to have sex with her, what that felt like. She totally understands what that would be like for a man, or she'd want to know.
Also, folks, in news that has brought tears to rock 'n' roll audiences all across the fruited plain, you may not have heard this, Fergie is pregnant. This is the lead singer of the Black Eyed Peas, the group that Will.i.am is in, she fronts it. She's the lead singer, and she is pregnant with her husband, which is noteworthy in Hollywood. She's pregnant with her husband, Josh Duhamel, and I have a name suggestion. Names are everything now and, of course, how are you gonna top Blue Ivy? You can't. And both these people, I know their politics. What kind of wonderful celebrity-style baby name could they come up with? I thought about it and there was one name that just, as they say, slapped me upside the head. It would be the talk of the media.
You name that kid Sequester. Sequester Duhamel. I mean, you do that, that kid is gonna be a star even before it is born. Speaking of the sequester -- we'll get to this Politico story. We could spend all three hours talking about the media here every day, and I don't want to do that. Oh, oh, wait a minute, folks. This is a story from the UK Telegraph: "Armed robbers snatch --" No, I actually changed my mind now. I said yesterday that there's no way the sequester is gonna happen, just like none of these other crises happen. I got home last night and I start thinking, you know, I might be wrong about that, because the sequester contains serious defense cuts, which Obama wants.
He's making big headway in having all this blamed on the Republicans, which fits right in with his modus operandi. It's his idea and Gloria Borger and a couple others give up that ghost, we got the audio sound bites, they let the cat out of the bag, everybody knows the sequester's Obama's idea except the low-information voters.
How's it pronounced? Duhamel? I never have known, I thought it was Duhamel. Now I'm told Duhamel. I just want you to know I asked everybody here how to pronounce Josh whatever-his-name-is, and nobody knew. Snerdley didn't know. Dawn didn't know. Brian didn't care. Maimone took a stab at it and I said, "Okay, it's on you." So he's the one that told me it was Duhamel and I'm getting a flash note saying that it's Josh Duhamel, "There is no h-a in there, you don't pronounce it."
So, anyway, Sequester Duhamel would be the name of the kid. I do know that Josh Duhamel is an actor, and Fergie is the lead singer for the Black Eyed Peas. We saw Fergie at the Super Bowl, remember that? Halftime show. In person it was a great performance, it was a great production, in person. You saw the whole stage, the whole field of lights, it was a great production. I can't hear when people sing, so I don't know if she sang well or not, but it looked really good. I'm just saying, Sequester Duhamel.
UK Telegraph: "Armed Robbers Snatch $50m in Uncut Diamonds from Brussels Airport." I got to thinking, that's no big deal. I saw Danny Ocean steal $160 million from three Vegas casinos in Ocean's Twelve. George Clooney. I saw it in a movie, I saw it on a screen, don't tell me it didn't happen. It did happen. George Clooney stole $160 million in diamonds from Andy Garcia and two other casino owners in Ocean's Twelve or Thirteen, I forget which it was. So this $50 million in a Brussels airport, that's chump change.
One more thing before we get to this sequester business. UK Daily Mail. Folks, I'm just gonna tell you up from, this is flat-out BS.
Yes, yes, I've heard. I can't do it now. I got people asking me in the IFB if I've heard about Axelrod. Yes, I heard about it. I can't do it all here in ten minutes. NBC's hired David Axelrod. The Obama, for all intents and purpose, chief of staff in the first term. That's not his title, but it might as well have been, campaign adviser, strategist. No, he's not gonna be a news anchor because the news anchors can't give their opinion. Ahem. He's gonna be a strategist on TV. He's gonna be commentary on NBC and MSNBC.
And the Washington Post has hired Hilary Rosen. She's the one who said, Ann Romney's never worked a day in her life. Anyway, to you and me that isn't any kind of a big deal, but it does kind of hit another arrow through the heart of the lie that the media doesn't favor the left. I mean, we don't need to have that told to us, 'cause we do know it.
Anyway, the UK Daily Mail: "Using the internet for hours on end can result in withdrawal symptoms similar to the 'comedown' experienced by drug users, scientists warned yesterday. Researchers found spending excessive periods of time surfing the internet left people in 'negative moods.' And, like drug addicts, when heavy internet users go back on the web their negative moods lift. ... Professor Phil Reed, from the university’s psychology department, said: ‘Our results show that around half of the young people we studied spend so much time on the net that it has negative consequences for the rest of their lives. ... Surfing the internet for long periods of time can cause withdrawal symptoms 'similar to people on a comedown from ecstasy' ... just like people coming off illegal drugs."
No, it isn't.
This is classic.
This is so wrong, it couldn't be any more wrong. It's a "scare" thing. It's typical of the media, and I like the UK Daily Mail. In fact, CNN ought to take a look at their front page every day. If I'm right about what on CNN's trying to do, dressed-up celebrity news, high-class trash... You know, get celebrities commenting on the news, like Fergie. You know, Fergie. Ask her to what she thinks about the sequester, and that will be the show. She would the expert guest. That's the UK Daily Mail. They've got the best celeb stuff, the best low-information pictures, stories, you name it. But they're wrong about this.