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P. Diddy Wet the Bed
RUSH: I could just vamp and talk about P. Diddy and low-information news until the president's finished.  Did you know that P. Diddy admitted to being a bedwetter?  P. Diddy was actually a bedwetter, and this is news.  Don't laugh in there, Mr. Snerdley.  It's giving other people self-esteem out there.  I mean, if P. Diddy can be a bedwetter, well, heck, who knows.  "Sean 'Diddy' Combs Reveals He Was a Bed Wetter as a Kid."  He said, "'One thing I want to say is, I grew up as a Kool-Aid kid,' Diddy said, admitting he never drank water. 'I used to pour a half a pound of sugar into the Kool-Aid. Besides it having me bouncing off the walls, I used to be a bedwetter.'"

You know, let that soak in for a second, folks.  I guess it's a new thing for street cred.  Well, Al Roker admits pooping in his pants.  Look, this is what's gonna happen 'til the president finishes, folks.  I'm sorry, I'm not gonna let this guy cover up what I've got to say here.  So Al Roker poops in his pants at the White House and is proud of it, admits it.  Rachel, did you hear about that?  He admitted it on the Today show, not once, but twice, he's talked to people about it. He's asked other people if they ever pooped in their pants.  It was because of his gastric bypass surgery.  He didn't mean to do it.  He couldn't stop it. He couldn't get to the bathroom fast enough. 

He's talking about this kind of stuff.  Not that long ago you wouldn't dare mention anything like that, and if you did you'd be a laughingstock.  But Al Roker assumed hero status for having the guts and the courage to admit that he had the problem, and now we got P. Diddly admitting that he was a bedwetter as a kid. 

Big Sis Says She Didn't Know About Prisoner Release
RUSH:  Janet Napolitano, Big Sis, according to ABC News, says that she had no part in a decision by underlings to release illegal immigrant detainees as a way to save money before sequestration.  And you know what?  She was surprised to learn about it.  "Detainee populations and how that's managed back and forth, that's really handled by career officials in the field," she said.  Really?  Even though, according to the congressional committee overseeing ICE, they're mandated by Congress to detainee 34,000 illegals, and they say they can only be released after notifying Congress?  That's what the law is.  But Napolitano says (imitating Napolitano), "Nah, there's a bunch of underlings, there's some rogues in there that let these guys go.  We didn't even know about it." 

I saw the governor of Arizona on TV today, Jan Brewer.  She was practically speechless in trying to explain this.  They weren't told in Arizona that the illegals being held in that state were gonna be released.  Arizona has been sued by the regime.  Now the inmates have been released.  She was really trying to hold back saying what she really wanted to ask and what she really thinks about what's going on.  But it was fascinating to watch.  I mean, speechless is the wrong word.  She wanted to unload but thought better of it, for obvious reasons. 

But, I mean, do we believe this?  A bunch of rogue underlings, career bureaucrats decided on their own to let these detainees loose, starting last week?  You know the economic news every month when the unemployment news comes out, whether the number is up or down, there's always the word "unexpected"?  "Americans unexpectedly applied for more unemployment benefits this weekend, exceeding expectations of the analysts and experts."  Remember all that? 

Forget that.  Nothing is going to be unexpected anymore.  All of the future bad economic news, substitute "because of the Republican sequester" for "unexpected."  So when unemployment starts ticking up, nobody's gonna be surprised anymore why.  Experts won't say it's unexpected.  It'll be totally expected.  It be totally predicted.  It'll be because of the Republican sequester.

Female Kicker Gets NFL Tryout
RUSH: A female kicker is set to try out for the National Football League.  Regional combine tryout.  What I want to know is, are they gonna ask her if she likes girls?  Because we've been told that they're asking certain players if they're heterosexual at the combine.  The question confuses some of the players, don't know what that is. So are they gonna ask her if she likes girls?  They want to promote greater diversity in football.  I'm not kidding.  Her name is Lauren Silberman.  Not kidding.  She wants to kick for an NFL team.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

I just got a note from the Hutch.  You know, we had the story here about Lauren Silberman. She wants to be a kicker in the NFL, and they're gonna give her a tryout at one of the regional combines, and she said she's not treating the tryout like a publicity stunt.  She has a bio at NFL.com, by the way, so they've listed her.  She's a former soccer player at Wisconsin.  She seems to understand what she's up against.  More likely, she wants to use this weekend of tryouts as an opportunity to promote greater diversity in football. 

Folks, I told you, enjoy it while you can, because it isn't long for this world as you and I have known the game. 

Diversity in football.  She's also gonna use the opportunity, Lauren Silberman is, as a steppingstone to other ventures.  Public speaking, sports marketing.  I got a note from the Hutch, the Reverend Dr. Ken Hutcherson in Seattle. He used to play in the NFL for the Seattle Seahawks, Dallas Cowboys, San Diego Chargers.  He said that after his rookie year -- and I don't think he means with the Cowboys. This probably happened when he played in Alabama.  But he said that a female tried out for the team, and she wanted to be a holder on extra points and field goals.  And he told me he has never seen more roughing the holder penalties and longer pileups and pile-ons. 

In fact, his exact words, "She wanted to be a holder. She almost got killed. She couldn't catch the ball. This opened her to getting hit. The largest and the longest pileup I ever witnessed," meaning the guys took advantage of the opportunity.  She couldn't catch the ball, it's a fumble.  The scrum ensued to try to recover the fumble, and you know what goes on in those things.  I don't know how long she lasted and it can't be that the Cowboys ever tried out a woman. 

(interruption)

Don't say that she doesn't really want to kick.  If she makes the team as a kicker, I'm sure she would do it.  Are you not paying attention to what's happening in this country?  Snerdley just said, "What team is gonna put a woman on the field to get brutalized?"  That isn't what's gonna happen.  But what team is gonna put a woman on the field?  What owner wants to build up a positive image with the current makeup of the country as diverse and where else in his life can you make a lot of money and get a lot of media attention being the first to do it.  What do you mean, what owner?  There will be one, maybe two.  And then there's gonna have to be a rules change.  Roughing the kicker, you're not gonna be allowed to touch, run into, you're not even gonna be allowed to get near the kicker if there is a woman. 

The fans will not put up with seeing a woman brutalized, as you say, but creamed by guys that weigh three times what she weighs.  So there will have to be rules changes to accommodate it, but I can see couple owners.  I could probably name a couple that would do it, for the positive PR.  Entertainment Tonight would be at practice every day.  You want to open the game up to an audience that's not yet interested in it?  That's what I mean.  Enjoy it while you can.  That's a real Neanderthal question.  You're not paying attention to what's happening in the country if you ask me stuff like that.  The question now is not what owner would do it.  The question is when and which owner is going to do this? 

Harvard Paper Warns Conservatives Not to Enroll There If They Intend To Criticize School Later
RUSH: The Harvard Crimson, that's the university newspaper. "The Harvard Crimson published an editorial urging conservatives not to apply to Harvard if they intend to criticize the university down the line for political points.  The editorial, titled 'Warning: Do Not Enroll,' denigrates famous conservatives who graduated from Harvard and later sharply -- and perhaps hypocritically -- complained about the university’s liberal ideology, including former presidential candidate Mitt Romney, Texas Republican Sen. Ted Cruz, and Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly."

These are Harvard graduates who now rip the place, and the Harvard Crimson has just published an editorial, don't enroll here if that's what you intend to do.  If you're a conservative and you want to come here and be one, don't come.  Now, I suppose you're gonna ask me, "How can they get away with that?"  Are you gonna ask me that?  No, that's Harvard. That will happen. 

Mom-to-Be Sells Naming Rights to Baby
RUSH: An enterprising Los Angeles mother-to-be is outsourcing the name of her soon-to-be-born human baby.  Twenty-six year old Natasha Hill is due in September, and she is selling the naming rights to her baby for $5,000. How about FedEx Field?  How about Staples Center?  How about Bank of America?  How about Heinz Field?  She's selling the naming rights, $5,000 and you can name my baby.  Now, is your reaction, "Who'd be stupid enough to do this?"  You want to know who's gonna pay her and get it done?  You don't think somebody will? 

Somebody will pay her, and it's gonna end up being more than $5,000, and the kid's gonna be walking billboard fame for all of his or her life.  And after five or six years the mother is gonna go back to court and say she didn't charge enough, and the person who bought the naming rights knew that they were getting a big deal. She's gonna sue for more money when the kid is five or ten years old.  And then do it again when the kid's 20.  And then the kid will sue when he's 21 because all this happened to him.  The kid will sue because he doesn't like to be known as Staples Center.  The kid's gonna be a walking lawsuit.  The mother's gonna be a walking lawsuit.  Somebody's gonna do it. 

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