Mark filled in from Ice Station EIB in New Hampshire. Check out Mark's Stack for links, audio clips and more. Rush returns on Tuesday, March 12th.

"I don't know whether we'll get the first lesbian or transgender pope (I think the alleged Pope Joan in the 13th Century was only a cross-dressing pope, so that doesn't count), but it looks like we have a real chance of getting the first Canadian pope. That would really be rubbing Americans' noses in it. If the first pope from North America is a Canadian, that will be a humiliating defeat for the United States." -Mark Steyn

Sequester Layoffs: Animals?

"That's how bad sequestration is, folks, in Yellowstone Park. They're down to one fox! They've had to lay off all the other foxes. This one fox is having to go around, stand in front of the tourists, and be photographed multiple times. One fox, one elk, one bald eagle. That's all you get for your ticket to Yellowstone." -Mark Steyn

• Washington Post: Yellowstone Gets Real About Budget Cuts
• Daily Caller: Congressman: No Golf Trips For Obama Until White House Tours Resume
• NBC: Ex-Detroit Mayor Kilpatrick Convicted Of Range Of Corruption Charges

"In his State of the Union Address, Obama said he'd reduced the deficit by more than $2.5 trillion, and then he said basically, 'We just need to finish the job. Just a few more nickel-and-dime savings here and there, and America will be returned to fiscal health.' Nobody understands this, because he's run deficits of over $1 trillion every year he's been president. He's added $6 trillion to the national debt! So nobody can figure out what this $2.5 trillion is." -Mark Steyn

Cupcakes, Guns, and Soda Silliness

"Mayor Bloomberg. This is the last day when sugary drinks more than 16 ounces can be legally sold in New York City. So if you want to go out and exercise your right to drink free or die, live sugary or die, give me sugar or give me death? This is your last chance today." -Mark Steyn

• CBS: Under Proposed Bill, Students Who Form Finger In Shape Of Gun Would Not Be Suspended
• Hot Air: Saving America -- School Confiscates Cupcakes With Toy Soldiers On Them
• CBS: One Day Left: NYC Super-Sized Sugary Drink Ban Goes Into Effect Tuesday
• The Latin Times: NYC Soda Ban: Starbucks Says They Will Defy Bloomberg Order; Will Mayor Shut Them Down?
• Twitchy: Shameful Colo. Dem Lawmaker: No Veterans Should Have High-Capacity Mags Because "Some" Are Mentally Ill
• UKDM: Mummy Scans Reveal Heart Disease Plagued Our Ancestors Before The Emergence Of Junk Food And Cigarettes

More Stories Discussed on Today's Program...

• UK Telegraph: Saudi Arabia May End Execution By Beheading As It Runs Short Of Swordsmen
• NRO: Air Force Chaplain Awarded Bronze Star for PowerPoint Teaching Proper Sensitivity for the Koran
• CNN: Pyongyang Scraps Armistice Amid Heightened Saber Rattling
• The Hill: Head of US Pacific Command: Climate Change Biggest Threat

"Are you really comfortable trusting the well-being of your children for eight hours a day to someone who cannot tell the difference between a Pop Tart and a psycho, or between a cupcake and a psycho?" -Mark Steyn