"The annual CPAC convention is underway, and I was just telling Mr. Snerdley, 'Why do they even bother to do CPAC anymore? I gave them the blueprint four years ago. There's no reason to hold CPAC anymore.'"
"Moochelle Obama is featured on the cover of the latest Vogue magazine. Have you seen it? And she looks hot on that cover, Snerdley -- you have to admit."
"It's not up to the Catholic Church to bend and shape and mold itself to the shrinking depravity of a worldwide culture. It's to provide the exact opposite. It's to provide a beacon out of depravity, among other things."
"One of my Undeniable Truths of Life is that senior citizens are among the most valuable resources we have for our young people."
"In this country -- particularly among young people -- gay marriage is it. I mean, that is the only thing that matters. That's the number one and number two issues of importance to young people. It's all about love. Love is paramount."
"Of course, President Obama can just mandate the Catholic Church give away contraception in this country; he can just mandate what he wants. So why can't we do that to the pope? Why can't we do that to the Vatican? That's what the left is asking."
"I've been doing this for 25 years, and I haven't moderated yet -- because I'm certain. I am confident of what I believe. But I also fully understand that I don't have (nor do I want) the power to force people to accept it. I'd rather they do that willingly."
"There are two kinds of embalming: funeral home embalming, which lasts a week or so, and the kind of embalming that they do for dictators."
"For whatever reason, people think there isn't anything special about America, and there is. And the thing that's special is not our DNA -- it's not the fact that we are Americans, per se -- it's that this place is the exception to the rule of human life before it."
"Pope Francis I is bad news for the Drive-By Media."
"The world never did hate us. All of that was just made-up media BS, and it was all part of the effort designed to get Americans to hate Bush and the Republican Party."
"The Democrat Party is a repository for liberals and leftists today, and their church is the state. There is a reason why Karl Marx and every communist/socialist philosopher has wanted to do away with religion -- because they want blind, unalterable faith in the state."
"Obama's presidency is about polling and focus-grouping people to find out how to convince them that he is doing what they want while he isn't. It's Alinsky 101, folks."
"The state is not the repository of all answers. The state is not where you ought to have your blind faith. The state will never care as much about you as you care about yourself."
"The reason people on the left are made nervous by people like Pope Francis is because they're certain. They are filled with resolve. They're confident, and happily so. It's that certitude that bothers the left. Nobody is supposed to be that certain. We're supposed to be malleable."
"Any institution that can be bent and shaped via intimidation by the media isn't worth itself."