"Your time on earth is barely the size of a head of a pin, if that big. In 10,000 years or a billion years of the existence of the earth, what is the normal temperature? What kind of vanity does it take to think that the state of perfection, the state of perfection and normalcy happens to be when you're alive?"
"I'm not interested in The Walking Dead. I'm to the point now where I oppose it just because so many people like it."
"So the president of the United States chose a preacher this Easter whose sermon was devoted to claiming that Republicans want to force blacks to ride at the back of the bus again. The Obamas were probably flashing back to the old Reverend Wright days and thinking, 'Man, it's good to be home.'"
"Can you believe that? I forgot the name of my own institute. Well, no, I didn't forget the name; I forgot that it was an institute."
"Game of Thrones... it's not anything about that. There is no game, and there are no thrones. What, Snerdley? There are? And there's a game? Huh."
"I just don't see Lady Gaga and Mitt Romney on the same stage or in the same program, but that's just me."
"With Obama, to talk about the resurrection during an Easter sermon is a bit disrespectful. I mean, you've got the modern day messiah sitting right there in the front row, so to talk about the resurrection of Jesus Christ is kind of insulting."
"Dawn is telling me she likes Game of Thrones. I would think based on everything I know about her, that that show would make her repulsed, that she would lead the effort to get it taken off the air... I don't know."
"I don't know how they can continue to permit young boys in college to play basketball. I mean, folks, this discussion involves the maneuvering of body parts in places they're not supposed to be!"
"I'm not an NCAA guy; not a college athlete guy. I don't have an alma mater. I've just never been excited about it. Uniforms look cheaper, everything."
"The longer this amnesty thing goes on, the more it becomes obvious to low-information people what's going on here, the greater opportunity for people to find out what the endgame really is -- and that's when opposition starts to really mount again."
"We had a mad dash for amnesty back in 2007, and you in this audience and all over the country let them in Washington know you didn't want any part of it. You shut it down, folks. You stopped it."
"The triumph of conservatism in the eighties was there for everybody to see. But while that was happening, in real life, the media and the Democrats were rewriting history and telling people how rotten and unfair it was."
"This is a pressure-packed question: 'Well, hey, look, you guys, if you're gonna be consistent, if you're reaching out to Hispanics on amnesty and stuff, why not reach out to 'em on Obamacare, 'cause they want that, too?'"
"I have a real problem: I am so immersed in reality."