"The Democrat Party is running as far away from Obamacare as they can. The Republican Party would be making a huge mistake to help them fix this. The Democrats are realizing nobody can afford this damn thing, and they want to make changes in it. The Republicans ought to say, 'Nope, we're not helping you. This is your bill. We had nothing to do with passing this bill. We had nothing to do with voting for Obamacare. It's an absolute mess, and you own it, and the only thing we're gonna do is help you repeal it.'"
"Folks, one of the worst days of my life was the first day of school in the first grade. I walked up to that school in abject fear, for a whole host of reasons. I just hated it."
"Obama didn't do the keynote last night to Planned Parenthood, but he did show up and make a speech, and his comments were the first to Planned Parenthood by a sitting president. And he lauded 'em. He praised their nearly 100 years of service to women. This makes me ill, by the way. That a president of the United States shows up at an abortion factory, essentially, and praises their work."
"The liberals are gonna demand that football -- high school, college, NFL -- make all these changes to improve the game. And the NFL, out of the same kind of fear the GOP experiences, will acquiesce."
"To Planned Parenthood, every abortion is good, every pregnancy is a potential disease, every pregnancy is the result of male domination. Every abortion equals female freedom and emancipation. Every abortion equals women saying, 'Screw you.'"
"These guys make the -- quack, quack -- things that hunters use to call ducks. They're the Stradivarius of duck calls, and they have made multiple millions, and there's a reality TV show about these people, and it's called Duck Dynasty."
"In the midst of the Gosnell trial and everybody knowing what an absolute hell house that guy was running. Planned Parenthood won't condemn it. Here's Obama now praising them to the hilt. I don't know. Everything's upside down."
"If you know Duck Dynasty, you know America. Duck Dynasty is cable's top-rated reality series this year. It beat the finale of American Idol, and it is the number two original series overall behind The Walking Dead. Now, I can't tell the difference. Only kidding."
"You know, A&E, Arts & Entertainment, was supposed to be like a PBS, very, very highbrow. It was supposed to be high toned anthology of high art. Opera introduced by movie stars. That didn't last long."
"Liberalism scrambles the brain more than football, as far as I'm concerned. I mean, if you're worried about the brain, if you're worried about what's happening to people's ability to function, ban liberalism, not football."
"By the way, if the Tsarnaev brothers were members of the Tea Party, you think the governor of Massachusetts would be holding that information back? Ha-ha-ha-ha. I doubt it. But the governor of Massachusetts is withholding the welfare records of the Tsarnaev brothers".
"If anything is disabling people and robbing them of their dignity, their potential as human beings, it is liberalism, not football. High school, college, NFL, what have you."
"Eric Holder said that amnesty is a civil right. There are seven billion people on earth, and that means that every one of them has a civil right to move to the United States. If amnesty's a civil right, folks, if illegally being in America is a civil right, we can't deny anybody."
"So you can't oppose amnesty now, because amnesty is a civil right. This is a matter of civil and human rights, a mechanism for them to earn citizenship, move out of the shadows, transcends the issue of immigration status. It's a civil right. So you can't oppose amnesty now. Just like illegal aliens' right to serve on juries. You've heard them say that. Just like their inalienable right to get food stamps. Amnesty, a civil right. Amnesty is the equivalent of wiping out slavery. You can't oppose that."
"This group doesn't like the Republicans 'cause of this issue or what have you, and it's all oriented toward getting the Republican Party to do what? Basically write itself out of existence."
"Do you think the Democrats really want Republicans getting Hispanic voters? Or do you think it's more likely that the Democrats and the media would be urging Republicans to take action that will destroy their chances to get voters that vote Democrat? What's more likely here?"
"Just like global warming is a total lie, when the left wants something, when they want to effect change, when they want to control it, who cares about truth and accuracy or any of that?"
"You think that this guy might have been probing for security weaknesses. There's a little suspicion of the guy from Williamsburg on the other side of the glass here. 'Are you at home or do you --' I think he was genuinely interested. I think food's a big deal to him."
"My problem was I didn't fit the formula, but yet I got plugged into it like everybody did, and I didn't like it. I found ways around it, by the way. I found ways to do what I wanted to do, at the expense of doing other things."
"The White House Correspondents Association dinner is tomorrow night, Saturday night, Washington. I will not be there for a record 23rd straight year."