"Liberalism is science, and therefore it's irrefutable. Science is what is. Science allows for no agreement. Once science says something, then that something is, and you can't refute it and you can't disagree with it. You can, but you would be a kook. This is one of the techniques that the left has used."
"Do you know now that the Boston Marathon bombing is the Russians' fault? That's right. Folks, there's more going on here than the regime wants anybody to know, I'm convinced now."
"Zubeidat Tsarnaev and Tamerlan discussed the possibility of Tamerlan going to the Palestinian territories. He told his mother he didn't speak the language there, but an AP article over the weekend said that federal officials say that Russian authorities intercepted her phone calls, including one in which she vaguely discussed jihad with her elder son. Vaguely. Vaguely discussed. That's funny. Vaguely. Yeah, it just came up. It was just sorta out there. Vaguely discussed jihad."
"Rush Limbaugh, doing what I was born to do and irritating people left right because I sound so sure of myself, which I am."
"One of my all-time favorite birds is the pelican. I'm fascinated by the things."
"I'm an Apple evangel even though they would probably cringe if I walked in the front door. I'm sure they would. If I walked in the front door they'd call security and say, 'Shut it down.' But I love 'em. I'm dazzled by 'em."
"I came across a very lengthy piece in the New York Times. I was directed to it because I don't read the New York Times. Somebody sent me a note about it, 'You really need to check this out.' The only way I ever see anything in the New York Times is when somebody says check it out."
"I think overall when you hear him articulate his vision of this country and what it should be, I think he's a thoroughbred conservative. I don't think there's any question about it. Just don't doubt me on this, Marco Rubio is not out to hurt this country or change it the way the liberals are."
"Snerdley, I don't know what it says about the Koran being a living, breathing document."
"'Rush Limbaugh warned you about this. Second term, baby.' Folks, I'm gonna tell you right now what it means. It means: Limbaugh warned you. He warned you. Second term. Look out. No stopping me. He warned you. It was praise. The president of the United States praising me for daring to say what actually is. First words out of his mouth."
"It's nothing more than one of the planks of their grand design, but they codify it as science so it's indisputable. I'm talking about the way that they interact and impose things on the low-information crowd."
"Who is in universities? Left-wingers, liberals. What are they doing? Promoting liberalism. They're not teaching anything. They are programming people."
"To a liberal the fact that he or she is liberal is the most important thing about them, not that they're Jewish, not that they're gay, if they are, not that they're straight, not that they're Presbyterian, not that they're athlete. That liberalism, first and foremost, is an activist way of life. It is an indoctrination way of life. It is way of life not open to debate or argument or discussion or anything. It's just what is, and they exist purely and simply to dominate. And they do not care, obviously, whether they do it honestly or not."
"A drive-by caller is a caller who got hold of Mr. Snerdley but didn't have time or didn't wish to go on the air."
"He's 36. As athletes go, that's just a couple years short of the wheelchair or the walker."
"If you didn't know any better, you would expect much below that the Democrat Party and the American left love black people, and they believe that black people are discriminated against, getting the shaft each and every day, and they're out there working to make sure that every black person in the world is not mistreated. Then a conservative black man gets nominated for the Supreme Court, and all of a sudden he stops being black."
"I know many of you out there think that nobody ever disagrees with me because there would be no point."
"The 911 hijackers went to Vegas, some of them did. You know why? To work up their hatred for our society. They went to the modern focus of evil in this culture, the debauchery of Vegas. They went there to stoke themselves with the proper amount of hatred while frequenting the brothels. So, you know, partaking of the things that are forbidden, in the service of jihad, it's permitted. Don't doubt me."
"Six months after Hurricane Sandy, thousands of people are still homeless, looters are still raiding homes under repair, there is still chaos, and New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is saying that President Obama kept every promise he made after Hurricane Sandy. So those of you suffering, it must be your own fault."
"CNN is reporting that Dzhokhar Tsarnaev is being quieter since he was Mirandized. No, really? You mean the suspect isn't saying anything since he was Mirandized? Who woulda thought? We Mirandized him and he's speaking less, and we're supposed to go, 'Wow! That's big.'"
"Obama said, 'My job is to be president. Your job is to keep me humble, and frankly I think I'm doing my job better.' That's not a joke, folks. That is a statement. You guys ain't keeping me humble. He-he-he. You can't do it, is what he's saying. I'm president, you're never gonna cut me down. You're never gonna make me normal or human. You give it up. There's no humor in that."
"Rubio has a desire to make inroads in the Hispanic community, and he's the equivalent of a conservative black trying to make it big in the NAACP. NAACP's not interested in conservative blacks. La Raza's not interested in conservative Republicans."